Book Review: Created to Live

6 Apr

I have been intending to write this book review for a few months now and it’s always fallen by the wayside. Such sadness! I’m happy to finally get this out to you guys – so, without further ado, the book review for Cathy Harris’ Created to Live.

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Synopsis: Did you know that in America, an abortion is performed every 26 seconds? Since the ruling in 1973, a staggering 58 million abortions have devastated individuals and families. You’ll find resources, the hard truths behind what we’re told about abortions and encouragement to fight the battle against abortion. Told in an honest, loving way, Harris shares her story and invites you to make a choice for unborn babies.

I’ve never read a book with this as the topic so I wasn’t sure quite what to expect but I found myself quickly interested and read it every day til I reached the end. Harris’ style of writing is easy to read and I found myself impressed on how she presented different aspects of her story – and the history of abortion – throughout the book.  My heart was torn as I read the stories of other women, I even shed some tears at some of them.

But don’t think this is a read that will get you down and disheartened! Harris gives practical steps on how to join the fight against abortion. I liked how she advised starting in your home with conversations and working out from there. We must get comfortable talking about it before we can really go out and fight this battle.

Here are a  few quotes that stood out to me:

“Offering to hold someone’s hand is sometimes all it takes to save their life.” – page 43

 

“The abortion industry was soaked in lies from its beginning. The abortion decision begins with the lie that a baby is not a person, but is instead merely a ‘personal choice’. Those lies have been compounded and have deceived millions of people. Due to the power of entrenched demonic perception over this issue, defeating the enemy’s lies is one of the toughest battles women and men face after going through an abortion.” page 84

 

” In His tenderness, He sits on the throne. In His nearness, He holds the government on His shoulders. In His kindness, He brings forth judgments and extends His hands of mercy.” – page 114

 

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I highly recommend grabbing a copy of Created to Live!

I received Created to live for my honest review. It was published by Ambassador Int.

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Monthly Goals: April

3 Apr

It’s that time again, lovelies! I hope you’re enjoying these recaps because I love writing them – they also happen to be some of my favorite posts to read….

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Recap of Monthly Goals:

EDIT Amelia book til ready for a professional editor.  – I have only worked on this a little bit. I have, however, been  brainstorming a few sections that need improvement. As well as trying to come up with a title! – working on it

Make writing a habit most every day – Not really at all this month. I did get a whole section on Georgia’s story down while on vacation though! – working on it

Grow SGL’s Traffic – nope. I’ve not even kept up with 2 posts a week, much less worried about growing SGL! – working on it

Lose weight/get healthier – not much improvement here, check out my health update for more info!  -working on it

Read more books on Jewish living –  It’s not exactly on Jewish living, but I’ve been making my way through/almost finished with When Bad Things Happen to Good People by Harold S. Kushner. – Win

Write a letter to one person a month – I wrote to several friends for their birthdays so I’m counting that this time!! – win!

Try a new recipe – You guys. Have you seen the craze over the smoothie bowls? I’ve joined the bandwagon. I want one every day. Really. I love this berry/banana one, but am wanting to make a peanut butter one (aka the Power Bowl) like Mother’s Juice Cafe has. YUM! -WIN

Watch/Read a Documentary/Biography – I’ve watched (most of ) Under Our Skin. It’s a documentary of Lyme Disease. It’s very interesting and full of info. It’s made me feel less alone in this painful journey, and also helped me realize that my symptoms could be much worse – Win

Learn Hebrew- I have just barely kept up this one. I even gave 2 of my nephews a Hebrew ‘lesson’ while in Bend! – mini win

Recap of March goals:

Watch Under Our Skin.

Edit the heck out of Amelia’s story

Be stricter on NO SUGAR and more veggies

Find a local charity that accepts knitted/crocheted items – anyone have suggestions?

Finish gallery wall

Keep taking the girls to the dog park 3x a week – weather permitting

So, while I feel like I haven’t done much on my march goal list, I did pretty good on my general goals! Having these monthly recaps helps me buckle down and do them though!

For April:

Edit the heck out of Amelia’s story

Be stricter on NO SUGAR and more veggies/juice

Finish gallery wall

start a container garden

Get my hair trimmed

Do Metal Toxicity test asap

Go to Craniosacrial chiropractor appt

plan a stay-cation for our 4th anniversary

What are your goals for April? Anything exciting planned??

Laura

Come back for a book review later this week!!! If you do enjoy monthly goal posts, click the picture below for more!

Like to post about your goals? Link up with any goal post in staygoldautumn.com's linkup on the first day of the month!

Health Update – March 2017

29 Mar

 

What a month! Spring is starting to show up here and we are so very ready for it. I’m dreaming of a small container garden and getting the landlord here to spruce up this yard of ours (he’s also a landscaper.) This time last year I had roses on my bush, it’s definitely a delayed spring!

Well, on to the topic of fighting this Lyme disease.

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Migraine app notes – I’ve had 7 attacks, lasting in average of 72 hours. So, while they’ve absolutely been lasting longer, I’ve had 6 attack-free days. Which I believe is a record! I’ve been getting an average of 7 hrs of sleep each night – this doesn’t typically account for the getting up a few times and tossing and turning. I’ve taken 38 Clonidine. They happen 80% of the time between 12pm and 12am (ha! so helpful,that). Average level is 7.9. Top three auras/prodrome are fatigue/achiness, headache and weakness. Top three triggers are neck pain, interrupted sleep and lack of sleep. Top three symptoms are jaw pain, neck pain and throbbing pain. Frequent start positions are the same as usual, temples, eyes, jaw and base of neck.

( Comparing to last month, I added one attack-free day and the pain increased slightly while the duration rocketed up.)

Overall Health/ Treatment: Some days I feel like I’m starting to do better – and then the little evil bugs laugh and do a stealth attack. I’ve had a few symptoms ease/disappear which is wonderful. I’m going to keep my notes from this month instead of re-typing them. =)

3/18 note  – started taking iron again today – at 5 ml 2x a day to get used to it. am continuing taking antibiotic (doxycycline) for another 2-4 weeks to see if it helps or not. started a probiotic ( sacro-b) what with taking the antibiotic longer.  went off of: garlic, ehb, epo. Finishing my bottle of Silver, then going off it too. dr suggested i start having bone broth. she also wants me to do a metal toxicity test, i’ll do it after i get back from bend next week. since we aren’t making any headway with what we’ve been trying, she wants to go a different track. Dr also wants me to start taking butterbur. need to start taking the xiao chai hu tang again.  –pain has been awful these past two weeks, plus i got sick and then started my cycle a few days after getting over the cold. migraines hit hard in evening and sometimes i wake up with them in am. have lost 1.6 lbs last two weeks.

3-24 – started back up on doxycycline on the 20th. As well as the sacro-b. Upped my iron to 15ml a day on the 22nd. Taking phosphorus 1-2x a day. Needing melatonin to sleep still. Pain is definitely worse in evenings. Still daily migraines, tmj and calf/feet tenseness and a bit of cramping. Migraine seems to ease a bit more quickly the past few days. Skin is clearing up again, hopeful it’s the antibiotics and it’ll stay clear. Able to focus again, have even been writing.

3-29- ceanothus – trying 3 drops am, 2 drops aft, 1 drop  eve to see if it helps with the evening migraine and fatigue. have gained back the weight I’d lost.

Migraines: They have increased in intensity without hitting 10 at all, I don’t think! that’s cause for celebration, folks. This past week-ish they seem to respond to treatments a bit better. The rest of the month, they were resistant to everything.

Digestion/TMJ: Once again, my digestion is off. Looking forward to stocking the house with healthy options and see if I can get it to calm down again. TMJ… I’ve been clenching/grinding so much lately that my teeth hurt most of the time. The jaw pain is normal now. Finally rescheduled my appointment with the ‘jaw doctor’ as I’ve labeled her, since I had to cancel my last  appt when I was sick. (anyone else find that statement ironic, ‘when I was sick’?)

Sleep: I’ve been needing Theanine or Melatonin to get to – and stay – asleep. It’s frustrating since I was able to get off of it for a while. BUT! The night sweats have gone away.

Memory/Brain Fog: Brain fuzziness (a step down from fog??) reappeared while I was in Bend. Over-stimulation perhaps? It was strongest on my birthday, sadly. Gives one the sense of not being present. I’m hoping this eases soon.

Vision: My eyes still frequently get blurry, or just take a bit longer to focus than they should. It hasn’t progressed though.

Feet/Leg cramps: The cramps are random and maybe once a week now. Typically it’s just tenseness – which can be distracting and painful on their own. Sometimes soaking them in epsom salt helps.

Dizziness: This got worse recently, but I haven’t been watching my salt intake.

Joint Pain: This has mostly shifted to my knees/ankles. I’m so thankful that it has left my fingers – that was the worst for me.

Fatigue: This is still a struggle. Like I said above, I’m gonna try taking 1 drop of Ceanothus  to see if it helps.

~I have started following some fellow lyme disease sufferers/warriors on Instagram and in talking with one of them the other day, I learned that ‘they’ have recently learned that you can get Lyme, not just from ticks, but from other nasties like mosquitos, fleas and spiders. SPIDERS, people. I’ve been thinking back on my symptoms lately and kept getting stuck on the timeline of when I was in Culinary school and got a rather awful spider bite on my cheekbone. It swelled up so bad that it impaired my vision. Now, I grew up in an older house and got bit all the time so I didn’t think anything of it. But now…. It doesn’t really help much, other than to mentally be able to put more of a year on it. By then, I’d had migraines for a few years but after that… everything started to crash. Literally.

That’s all for today folks, I’m gonna rest and then – hopefully – get out to go grocery shopping!

Happy Wednesday,

Laura

 

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Book Review – Feb and March 2017

21 Mar

Since I missed last month’s reviews, I smushed them all together this month!

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Schoolhouse Brides Wanda E. Brunstetter – The lives of four schoolmarms are complicated when unexpected visitors arrive.

~Four short stories centered on the hardships that teachers of the one-room schoolhouse had to face, as well as the risk of opening their hearts. These are nice, light reads that leave you wishing they were longer.  As much I enjoyed these, I passed them on to my mom, I’m always left slightly dissatisfied with short stories…and I’ve only got so much room for books!

Eight Cousins by Louisa May Alcott – A masterpiece by the author of Little Women. Rose Campbell, recently orphaned, goes to live with her relatives on “Aunt Hill”. She’s less than impressed with her new life, accustomed to a girls boarding school but when her Uncle Alec arrives, along with meeting her seven boy cousins, she finds it’s not quite so bad.

 This was a very sweet read – one I had a hard time putting down. I couldn’t help but think of my own nephews and nieces (8 between two of my siblings) and imagined them hanging out and playing as these cousins did!

Failure is Impossible: Susan B. Anthony in her own words by Lynn Sherr – Anthony’s letters and notes are combined with reports and essays, making this book a-one-of-a-kind, giving a glimpse into Susan B. Anthony’s life and passion for the causes she fought every day of her life for.

~ This was a great book – and perfect for my research for the book I’m writing! Anthony’s devotion to the Cause is amazing. It was cool to get to read some of her words, rather than just hearing about her motivational speeches. It was a bit thick, it took me a few months to get through, but well worth it. 

Created to Live by Cathy Harris – I’ll be doing a separate review for this one, as I received it from Ambassador International for my honest review. =) ~Update: Here it is!

Fiesta Moon (book 2 in the Moonstruck series) by Linda Windsor – When Mark and Corrinne both have to work on building an orphanage out of a falling-down hacienda, the sparks start to fly. Add to that, the disappearance of a young boy and the ghost haunting the halls, summer in Mexico just got a lot more interesting.

~I needed a light, fun read and this fit the bill. It’s a sweet romance, filled with mystery, a precocious pig and God’s forgiveness. I always forget that this is part of a series, it’s just fine as a stand alone. It’s fun that it’s set in another locale – Mexico – and that you get to explore the culture a little. It is sappy, but sometimes, you just need a sappy story! 

The O’Malley Series – books o.5 through 5  – Follow the lives of the O’Malley siblings – Marcus, Kate, Rachel, Jack, Lisa, Stephen in this heartwarming mystery series.

~To know just how much I enjoy this series, click the link. I read them at least once a year, that’s how great they are. Although, I realized in my reading this time through, that I still, somehow, don’t own book 3… So, that’s interesting. I feel like I keep losing books in this series. Strange. Anyway, Read them. They’re great. 

Currently Reading:

When Bad Things Happen to Good People by Harold Kushner

The Rescuer, book 6 by Dee Henderson

The Shepherd’s Voice by Robin Lee Hatcher

To-Read :

Rose in Bloom by Louisa May Alcott

Lorna Doone by R.D. Blackmore

books on Editing a novel

What have you read lately? Found a new favorite? Share, I love to add to my to-read list! I mean, check out my goodreads page, my list is looong.

*I’d like to note that any books I read are free of foul language or any immoral …stuff. If there is a hint of it, I will tell you but that is the most that I will read, and by default, will share with you. Not everything I read is faith-based though, so keep that in mind if that is your priority. *

Once again I’ve joined the Reading Roundup – click the image below to find some other great reads!

Reading Roundup

Preparing for a trip with Lyme Disease

14 Mar

It occurred to me this morning that getting ready to go on a trip is a lot more stress and worry and work than it used to be.

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No longer is it a simple matter of setting the dates, doing laundry, packing the bag and heading out. This is what it looks like now:

~Mentally debate if I’ll feel well enough to go

~Look at calendar to decide timeline of my health vs when I’d be there

~Set dates

~Stress that I’ll feel well enough to get there

~ Plan a few activities while there

~Make a list of what I need to do before I go

~Stress that I’ll feel well enough to do anything once there

~Add things to list to do beforehand (order meds, fill daily pill box, make essential oil roller bottle, etc)

~Get excited about going on the rare morning I feel well

~ Dream about when I didn’t stress before a trip

~ Stress about the fact that I now stress

~Wonder if I’ll sleep well while there

~ Do laundry and wonder why we go through so many clothes – there’s only 2 of us!

~ Check out to-do list that hasn’t changed in the past few days

~ Get excited at the thought of seeing family again! (all those nieces and nephews too!)

~ Tentatively move up date of departure

~Stress about all I need to get done with less time to do it

~Stress that I’ll feel well enough that soon

~Wish it was just the day to go already so I could stop stressing about it

 

Fairly accurate, I’m afraid. If there’s nothing else being chronically ill for over a decade has taught me, it’s how to stress out about stuff. I may be flexible and fine with changing plans but it’s the days leading up to it that are the problem! All this aside, I always have fun on my trips, making it possible for me to want to leave home again. I would like to point out, that this is list is even more true when I am going somewhere I’ve never been before. And then a whole other host off stressors come into play – will the bed be comfortable, will I be able to sneak off to nap if I need to, will there be food I can eat, etc. Thank goodness I’m going to my parent’s house and they are wonderful about helping me out. Plus, my puppies get to go with me. Trips are just more fun with my girls around.

Well, I’m gonna finish doing laundry and hopefully make some breakfast cookies. Here’s to making memories, despite health concerns and mental break-downs =)

~Laura

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Health Update – Feb 2017

10 Mar

Happy Friday friends! It’s been a while, I know. Sometimes life just kicks you down a bit and you’ve got to let go of the blogging goals. (plus my parents were in town last weekend to celebrate OH’s birthday, such a fun time!) So, this update is late, but at least it’s happening. Here we go:

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According to my migraine app (Migraine Buddy), my migraines have averaged 30 hours. I’ve had 26 attack days, 5 free days! They’ve happened 80% on weekdays at an average of 7.5 pain intensity. My top three aura/prodromes were weakness, muscle stiffness and fatigue/achiness. Top three triggers were neck pain, interrupted sleep and too much activity. Top three symptoms were jaw pain, neck pain and throbbing pain. They frequently started in the temple, jaw and base of skull.

Overall Health: About the same as the past few months, although I’ve been dealing with the emotional side of it better these past few weeks. Realized at the doctor’s last week that I haven’t gotten rid of any symptoms, have only added more. Rather discouraging.The never-ending search for what will help is exhausting and I’ve been dreaming of being healthy and able to homestead like I want to =)  Plus I got sick earlier this week so not sure if my newest treatment attempt is helping or not.

Treatment: I started taking Ceanothus on the 9th of Feb and it seems to help so far as it gives me a burst of energy (kind of like caffeine) and I’m not as bitterly cold all the time. It seemed to get rid of the nausea as well, and eased the joint pain. By the end of the month, when I went in to my dr, I hadn’t improved much past that so she suggested I try an antibiotic for two weeks. I’ve been on it for one week but have been sick for most of it… so is it helping? We’ll see. If this doesn’t help, I’m not sure what we’ll do. My OH is getting frustrated that we’ve made so very little progress and I have to admit that I’m right there with him.

Migraines: They might have eased since Jan… it’s hard to really remember. They have been hitting hard and frequent. Typically in the evening.

Digestion and TMJ: my digestion has been a bit off again lately. perhaps too much sugar?? TMJ—well, that’s a story in itself. Remember when I said my goal for Feb was to ‘survive dentist appointment’? I survived it but the news was not-so-friendly. I’ve added grinding to my clenching of my teeth over the last four years. And that constant stress spreads a whole host of fun symptoms – explaining at least in part why I’ve gotten worse. I’ve got to reschedule to meet with a craniosacral chiropractor (was supposed to go in this past week but the cold I got prohibited that!) in the hopes that the therapy will help realign my jaw. Thankfully, my teeth themselves are fine and there’s no further need to go to the dentist. Huzzah!

Sleep: I’ve been having to take Theanine to get to sleep again lately. It’s frustrating but I’d rather get at least six hours than lay tossing and turning and be guaranteed  to have a migraine the next day.

Memory/Brain Fog: This has improved the past few months (!!!) While I still struggle to gather my thoughts when I’m in a crowded/noisy room, and anything long term is hard to remember, I’m not kicking myself for forgetting the littlest things like I was doing. Brain fog is pretty rare now, typically only occurring when the pain is severe.

Vision: My eyes are still frequently blurry but it seems to be slightly better than it was. I’m hopeful this continues to clear up!

Feet/leg cramps: Still tense and minor cramping. Very few bad cramps. Mainly in feet lately.

Dizziness: Only if I’m really tired and have had too much salt. Thank goodness this is mostly gone!

Joint Pain: This one has eased as well although the ache is definitely still present. Any lessening is a blessing!

Nausea: This is gone and, as I said above, I think it’s in thanks to the Ceanothus. I’m not for sure but I’m so thankful that it’s gone.

Moodiness: This one has also mostly gone away. I’m pretty sure my OH is as glad as I am about this. hehe.

Fatigue: This is one of my biggest struggles and I’m not sure why it hasn’t been on this list at all yet. Even with the energy burst from the Ceanothus, my fatigue is REAL, people. I’m looking forward to the day when I can look at a flight of stairs and not feel a sense of dread.

It’s so nice to have seen at least a few symptoms ease/disappear but I’m afraid that joy has gotten swallowed by the rest of everything else. Until this past week of sickness, I was getting the dogs to the park about three times a week. I’ve also started trying to get Lady to walk .5 mile while there. She’s older and needs to lose weight and it gives me a reason beyond myself to. get. moving. And that’s always a good thing.

That’s the update for February, although it is late! Have a fabulous weekend and we’ll hope to see you back here next week.

~Laura

p.s. don’t forget to spring your clocks forward on Sunday!!! 

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Monthly Goals : March

1 Mar

A month has come and gone already! Where oh where do the days go? My birthday is coming up in March – so we’ve got some fun plans for that, and I’m also hoping to get my novel edited by the end of march! Big plans. Big plans.

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 EDIT Amelia book til ready for a professional editor. – I finally read all the way through it- getting it into my head as a story rather than different scenes all mixed up – and have gotten some editing done. Hit a major frustration that has killed all motivation to work on it. Hoping to get back at it this week though! – sorta WIN

~  PLOT/create Story Board– Finished this a few weeks ago! I’m so proud of it. -WIN

~Lose weight/get healthier –  I have tried to eat healthy this month but it’s not gone too well. The typical .5 lb loss and then gain has happened. – FAIL

Make writing a habit most every day –  Even saying it’s almost every day is probably a stretch. I’ve started writing Georgia’s story, have about 3k words on it (!), but pain and focusing have made it hard to write, or even to want to. – Sorta WIN

Grow SGL’s Traffic – once again, haven’t worried about this yet.  – FAIL

Read more books on Jewish living – not at all! haven’t even picked up Messianic Jewish Manifesto since I started it beginning of last month – FAIL

Write a letter to one person a month – Yes! I wrote a lovely little letter to a lovely person. snail mail makes me happy.  – WIN

Try a new recipe – once again in the Against All Grain cookbook, I made the Basil-Thyme Vinaigrette. It was super yummy , even though I didn’t have a few of the ingredients. Only negative side is that the coconut oil hardens, so you have to warm it up before each use. Also tried a White Bean and Chicken Chili recipe that was sub-par, even after I tried to bring some life to it. Disappointing.  – WIN

Watch/Read a Documentary/Biography –  Just finished  Failure is Impossible:Susan B. Anthony in her own words by Lynn Sherr. It’s  a collection of Anthony’s letters, speeches, diary entries and articles. It’s well put together and I’m collecting a LOT of info for my book I’m starting – WIN

Learn Hebrew- I added this one mid-month. It’s something I’ve been wanting to do the past few years but have only ever given a cursory glance at it. Thankfully, my OH still has the books he learned in, so I’m able to do this without buying anything! I’ve started Hebrew in 10 minutes a Day, and worked on memorizing the alphabet with some pretty sweet flash cards. I’m not staying on top of it every day but I’m trying to several times a week. – WIN

~I did survive my dentist appointment, but came away with some disheartening news that I’ll share in my Feb health update (probably next week).

~Not sure I’ve spoiled my OH like I was hoping to. The biggest thing I’ve been focusing on is trying to keep him supplied with juice. And keeping Abby away from him so he can nap on the weekends.

This month I want to:

Watch Under Our Skin.

Edit the heck out of Amelia’s story

Be stricter on NO SUGAR and more veggies

Find a local charity that accepts knitted/crocheted items – anyone have suggestions?

Finish gallery wall

Keep taking the girls to the dog park 3x a week – weather permitting

Check out the linkup below to read some fabulous bloggers goals as well!

Like to post about your goals? Link up with any goal post in staygoldautumn.com's linkup on the first day of the month!

What are your goals for March?

~Laura

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Writing Prompt – Character Development

24 Feb

While I was feeling very uninspired to write a blog post (the couch and netflix sounding much more interesting), I remembered I’d downloaded a sweet little ebook filled with writing prompts that help in moving my novel along. So here’s to completing two tasks in one swoop : blog post and working on my book.

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The prompt I’m going to do is all about finding out what is missing in my hero. And how has it changed them, pushing them out of their comfort zone and into the special world of the story?  How has that missing thing left them broken? “Your hero’s flaw lies in that broken place”

Georgia is my MC (main character).  What I’m thinking so far is that it’s a broken heart/lacking purpose in her life. It’s kind of a combo problem because the person she fell in love with – years ago – was the one to make her look past her ‘perfect’ life and start searching for a purpose, a passion. She became more settled, less frivolous of a person as she sought to better herself and her life. For years though, she’s pushed the restlessness, the emptiness, aside and buried it deep. But it’s about to intrude on her life in a way that she won’t be able to ignore it anymore.

Having that emptiness, that pain, has spoiled  all her childish dreams for her future. She must let them go in order to seek the remedy for her broken heart. She’s going to have to disappoint those she holds most dear if she wants to find her purpose. She comes to realize that she can’t stay in the same routine she’s been in if she wants to be fulfilled.

I think she’s always been broken. The way she was raised was very…hmm, one could say, lacking in the most important things in life. She was taught that what’s on the outside is what matters. And that maintaining ones social standing is the most important thing, no matter really what you have to do to get there.

Does this mean she has a hard time looking past others’ appearance, and seeing into who they truly are?  Or that, even when she’s broken out of that world, and into the special world, that she still sees people based on their social standing?

I think I’m going to have to mull over how her flaw ties into that broken place….and how to work it into my plot board.

~Laura

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writing prompt – Promises

17 Feb

Hi friends, today’s writing prompt is “I’ve lost count of the promises I’ve broken for you” – it is a bit darker than what I normally write. I’m trying to get out of my comfort zone a little with some of these. Because happy stories are easier to write. But, growth is necessary! So, here we go.

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“I’ve lost count of the promises I’ve broken for you.”

“What? I would never ask you to break you word!” He sounded disgusted that I would even suggest it.

“No. You wouldn’t ask me to. You just know I will. Because you come first – no matter what, right? I don’t even have a life outside of you anymore.” My words were bitter but I couldn’t stop them – I didn’t want to stop them. This had been coming for a long time. Years, in fact. But this latest scene was one I couldn’t put up with. It was the last straw. He looked at me with a broken expression.

“I love you, Merry. You love me. We’re supposed to be there for each other. You want a life away from me?”

I steeled myself against the pain in his voice. It wasn’t real. I knew it wasn’t real. He was the best manipulator I’d ever seen. I mean, he’d kept me tied to him for the past ten years, hadn’t he?

“I don’t know what love is. I don’t think you do either. When was the last time you were there for me, anyway?” I wrapped my arms around myself as he came closer, putting his hand on my arm.

“I was there that time you broke your collarbone, remember babe? I took you to the hospital and stayed with you the whole time.” I nodded in remembrance. He’d broken it in one of his rages. I didn’t say anything about that though, just took a step back out of his reach.

“You’re possessive and I’m your lapdog. I come every time you call. I can’t take it anymore Frank. I just can’t.” My  voice broke and I rubbed my forehead, wishing this was already over.

If I had been watching, I would have seen the look in his eyes. I knew better than to close my eyes when he was in the same room – I’d learned that in the first six months.  The back of his hand caught my cheekbone, snapping my head to the side. I caught myself on the side table, waiting for the next blow. When it didn’t come, I turned.  Frank had sat on the sofa, his head in his hands. I slowly reached for my phone, keeping an eye on him. I hit speed dial 6, and wrapped my hand around the other item in my jacket pocket. As I waited, the shakes started. His forced sobs filled the room and I knew I was supposed to go comfort him. Apologize. But I couldn’t do it – wasn’t I supposed to be breaking free from him? Instead, I spoke the words I’d practiced hundreds of times, through chattering teeth.

“It’s over, Frank. Your lying and manipulating days are over. I’m leaving.” 

He stood up in a rage but stopped when he saw the gun in my hand. I held it straight at his heart, calmly, as if my own heart wasn’t pounding so hard I was sure he’d hear it. “Put that thing down, babe. You’re gonna hurt somebody.” His wheedling tone belied his stress. And I exulted in it.

“The only one who’ll get hurt is you, if you get any closer to me.” I willed the doorbell to ring, the gun was already starting to get heavy. 

Frank side-stepped toward me with his hands outstretched, “Give it to me. Now.” His tone was hard.

Before I even thought about it, I shot him in the knee. He fell instantly, yelling in pain.  Just as he lunged for me, the front door burst open and salvation arrived in the form of a new friend of mine – a police officer and her partner. 

“Babe, tell them it’s just a misunderstanding.” He ordered me to lie, still not considering that I wouldn’t do it. His control over me had been complete. But no longer. 

I smiled. “I told you, I won’t break any more promises for you. And I promised myself I’d see you dead, or in jail. Take your pick.”

 

 

Come back  next week for a review on Eight Cousins by Louisa May Alcott.

~Laura

 

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Monthly Goals: February

3 Feb

Happy February everyone! I hope the weather has calmed down a bit for everyone, or if not, that you’re well stocked on hot chocolate. It’s been nice enough this past week that I’ve been able to get the dogs to the dog park, whew! Abby was going stir crazy not getting to run.

I’ve decided I want to share how I did on my monthly goals – remember this post?  And then share what my goals are for the coming month. I feel pretty good about January, especially since most of it was spent feeling absolutely miserable.

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~ get my first book published this year – to break this down into littler steps,  EDIT til ready for a professional editor. – Right now, I’m  waiting to get it back from my first two beta readers, so I can editeditedit it. I’m enjoying the bit of a break from working on it though!

~ Have my second book written in full – Broken down into littler steps : PLOT/create Story Board–  I’ve made good strides in plotting it! I’m just starting to put together my plot board, I’m REALLY hoping to finish it this week. -WIN

~Lose weight/get healthier –  I lost 5 lbs…and then gained them back all last month. SO. I know I can lose some, it’s just remaining super strict on my eating habits when I’m feeling awful. Even if I can’t work out, I need to still juice and avoid sugar.  – HALF WIN?

Make writing a habit most every day – as I’ve been plotting, I haven’t officially written but I’d still say I met this one as I plotted several days each week. – WIN

Grow SGL’s Traffic – meh, I haven’t focused on it too much yet. Although I am planning on joining a few linkups each month now ( joined a book review one earlier this week in fact, go check it out!)

Read more books on Jewish living – I’ve started Messianic Jewish Manifesto but haven’t gotten in very far. -SORTA WIN?

Write a letter to one person a month- I did! And here’s proof. – WIN

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Try a new recipe – I made four this month from Against All Grains. Only remembered to take a picture of the Braised Chicken in Artichoke and Mushroom Sauce though! The sesame chicken was good, even make the Cauli-Rice to go with it! Now, the  Banana Bread I made yesterday did NOT turn out. But, I didn’t follow the recipe exactly…It calls for 4 eggs and in Duck Egg land, that equals about $5. Not gonna happen. So I used egg replacer and it did not bake fully. I’m hoping to ‘slice’ it and fry it in the skillet to see if it’ll finish cooking so I don’t have to throw it away. So far, I’m loving this cookbook – WIN

Braised Chicken in Artichoke and Mushroom Sauce
Even made the Cauli-Rice!

Watch/Read a documentary/biography: I watched the Kirk Cameron film, Monumental, on Inauguration Day. (I’d like to say that I planned that but totally didn’t.) I enjoyed it a lot! -WIN

As for my goals for February, it’s just to keep going through this list, all I’m adding is ‘survive dentist appointment’ and ‘find ways to spoil OH’.

Check out the link up that I’ve joined, and find some other lovely blogs to follow!Monthly Goal Linkup

~Laura

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