It occurred to me this morning that getting ready to go on a trip is a lot more stress and worry and work than it used to be.
No longer is it a simple matter of setting the dates, doing laundry, packing the bag and heading out. This is what it looks like now:
~Mentally debate if I’ll feel well enough to go
~Look at calendar to decide timeline of my health vs when I’d be there
~Stress that I’ll feel well enough to get there
~ Plan a few activities while there
~Make a list of what I need to do before I go
~Stress that I’ll feel well enough to do anything once there
~Add things to list to do beforehand (order meds, fill daily pill box, make essential oil roller bottle, etc)
~Get excited about going on the rare morning I feel well
~ Dream about when I didn’t stress before a trip
~ Stress about the fact that I now stress
~Wonder if I’ll sleep well while there
~ Do laundry and wonder why we go through so many clothes – there’s only 2 of us!
~ Check out to-do list that hasn’t changed in the past few days
~ Get excited at the thought of seeing family again! (all those nieces and nephews too!)
~ Tentatively move up date of departure
~Stress about all I need to get done with less time to do it
~Stress that I’ll feel well enough that soon
~Wish it was just the day to go already so I could stop stressing about it
Fairly accurate, I’m afraid. If there’s nothing else being chronically ill for over a decade has taught me, it’s how to stress out about stuff. I may be flexible and fine with changing plans but it’s the days leading up to it that are the problem! All this aside, I always have fun on my trips, making it possible for me to want to leave home again. I would like to point out, that this is list is even more true when I am going somewhere I’ve never been before. And then a whole other host off stressors come into play – will the bed be comfortable, will I be able to sneak off to nap if I need to, will there be food I can eat, etc. Thank goodness I’m going to my parent’s house and they are wonderful about helping me out. Plus, my puppies get to go with me. Trips are just more fun with my girls around.
Well, I’m gonna finish doing laundry and hopefully make some breakfast cookies. Here’s to making memories, despite health concerns and mental break-downs =)