Tag Archives: exhaustion

Health Update Apr/May 2019

30 May

All I can say is at least I’m getting this up before June starts. My levels, and types, of pain have made getting this post up such a bear. fightinglymemigraines

 

 

Overall Health:  It’s been a roller-coaster ride these past six weeks. That’s really all I can think to say about it. I went from doing pretty well during the days and crashing so-so in the evenings to….rough days and passing out at 8pm because I just can’t stay awake any longer. (only to wake up an hour later and not be able to sleep again til midnight.)

 

Apr 16 started doxycycline                                                                                                              Apr 30- good energy most of the day.  1 mile walk plus housework. Migraine kicked up afternoon,  clonidine calmed.  Started thyroid 9am. Tiny bumps on face in evening, not sure why? 
May 2- decent energy in am,  hit with fatigue around noon.  IV in afternoon.  
May 3- felt pretty well today,  fatigue hit afternoon. Tiny bumps on face again this evening and a tad bit last night. 
May 5- bumps again today, also around collarbone, some itchy. Fatigue early afternoon, napped but then foggy and dehydrated rest of afternoon.  Hungry like crazy in evening,  migraine kicked up a lot.  
Observations: fibropain is less intense.  Migraines are still sharp and increase a lot in evenings.  Clonidine helps,  overall but not always.  Evening hunger is common.  Fatigue is light in am but hits mid afternoon at least.  Needing a nap most days.  Foggy brain after. 
Went off of thyroid on may 11th to see if it was causing the rash on my face. Fatigue hit hard whole of following week, rash still present although not as bad? Fibromyalgia flared the same week.  Started thyroid back up on the 17th.
May 17 – visual  aura and nuclear migraine. 
May 21 Fatigue has eased a little bit since Sunday.  Felt off all day,  fending off another crash this evening

Migraine:  SIGH. The pain has been quite terrible lately, with one full blown visual aura/nuclear migraine this past Friday and three more attempting to blow up.

Sleep:  I’m hitting 6 to 7 hours a night, with at least 2 wakings. Majority of them I need the ice pack on the pillow. Several I’m having night sweats -even with the ice, joy oh joy – and of course, never waken feeling refreshed.

Memory/Brain Fog:  Brain fog has stayed around again. It’s kept my ability to focus on things at a minimum.

 

Vision: I have had four  FIVE visual auras in the past week. That’s about four more than I’ve  been having every few months. I’ve noticed that even in between lately, my eyes aren’t quite right. Looking at black text/white background can be difficult…

TMJ:  I have just realized this has eased. My teeth aren’t hurting as much or often as they used to. It has only popped a few times in the past few weeks. My jaw still regularly hurts but overall, this has definitely improved.

Screenshot_20190529-083154_Instagram

Fatigue: This is still my biggest current struggle. It can go from just marginally dragging to laying me out and making me fall asleep within half an hour. (this makes for interesting planning of errands…)

Fibromyalgia:  In a way this has decreased slightly. But my left side (top of head down to toes) frequently aches. If I stay away from processed sugar, the fibro stays down –remind me of this next time I’m tempted to cheat and have sugar.

Weight Loss: Non-existent.

Mood: This has been a bit topsy-turvy the last little bit but I’m sure it’s because of the levels of pain I’ve been dealing with. And hormones – hormones out of whack are fun. Eesh.

Digestion:  We’re back to my normal! woohoo!

Like I said in my notes above, I went off the Thyroid for several days to see if the mostly invisible rash that has appeared on my face was connected to it. I’m fairly confident now that it’s not, but the rash is still there (at least it is mostly impossible to see!) and I’m not sure why. I’ve also been trying to tell if the doxycycline has helped any of my symptoms, but really, with how I’ve been feeling, it’s so hard to separate the pain, you know? Even doing this update, it’s still all so foggy to be able to tell. I’ve also only been on the doxy for a month and a half, so I doubt that’s long enough to be able to tell anyway.

I will add about the Thyroid though, that I think the fatigue was going down after I first started it – so I’m hoping that will start happening again soon. I mean, I was taking Abby on a mile walk in the mornings, doing some house cleaning and making yummy dinners. Which, for me, is a pretty full/energy burning day. And now I’m barely getting her to the park, doing maybe 20 min of light cleaning and sort of maybe throwing a semblance of dinner together. Augh. I know this journey of healing is an up and down, switchback type of road but I’m ready to be through this particular rough stretch. Especially since I know that the pain in my left side would disappear if I was able to lose some weight.

~Laura

Give yourself Permission, It’s OK

21 Sep

Ah, the plans I had for today, friends, the plans I had.

I just conceded them to the inevitable and put my yoga pants (no, i don’t actually do yoga in them…) on. I have been trying to psych myself up to go run my errands and do some cleaning around the house but my body decided that a shower was all it could handle.  So I have come to the conclusion once again, that you just have to give yourself permission to not feel good and to do nothing.

If you’ve heard of the spoon theory, made typically in regards to Lupus, this is one of those days where I have started with less ‘spoons’ than normal, and therefore, must alter my plans.

(if you don’t know about this spoon theory, go check out this article)

givepermission

So, I’m going to continue laying on the couch with my dog snoring close enough I can reach out and scratch her head, with a cozy crocheted blanket over me and try not to notice the mess of my house or remember the list of errands that need doing.

Happy Monday and next post will be more on character development,

Laura

~if you want a great show on netflix that is worth binge-watching, over and over : Leverage. Interesting enough to keep you focused on it and not your pain but not too involved that you can’t keep up with it.

Chronic Pain and its side effects

17 Jun

I try not to use SGL as a place to vent but i wrote this a few weeks ago and I keep feeling the need to share it here. Maybe it’ll help someone know they aren’t alone in their pain. Mom, get a box of kleenex, you’ll probably end up crying. Sorry.

chronicpaineffects

It is a bit dis-jointed, but I’m going to type it here just like I wrote it:

“I want to yell and scream at the world, no, at the ever-ending, swirling, devouring Pain. The Pain that not only claws at me day and night but the equally absorbing exhaustion that pulls at my legs as if I had two ball and chains dragging around behind me; that weighs down my shoulders making me bend like a wizened old woman who has lived such a full life that her back has aged less gracefully than her spirit; it stiffens my hips and arms – the exhaustion is just as consuming as the Pain but for some reason it’s not talked about.

The reason for any of my sanity remaining lies in three places.God, family and friends, and Pain pills. The pills is the one that gnaws at me, the relief so wonderfully given, I fear, will come at a costly price and each day that goes by, I fear just what it will be. To get through a day means to take them, but what about the rest of my life?

A mind dragged through persistent, severe pain eventually starts falling. Falling to that which we all fear when we reach our later years. Falling to an ever-constant awareness of Pain past, present and future. To live in the moment becomes almost impossible. To be feeling well now means it is time to prepare for the Pain that is coming. Falling to the realization of broken hopes and shattered dreams. Falling to comparisons – between you and anyone healthy. Eventually the splintered mind will cordon itself off- just to raise its chances of survival.

This. This is the life of chronic Pain. It is not just the brutal Pain that vice grips my temples- but it’s the slow deterioration of everything else- all while tenaciously holding on to the life I long for.”

I would add to this, on the positive side, that I do lead a wonderful life – I have a sweet husband who supports and takes care of me, a dog that loves me despite never getting out for walks anymore and so many genuine friends, new and old. The problem lies in not being able to chase my dreams, or even keep my house clean and food made because of what my body is doing. It has begun shutting out so many things in my life that daily I worry what else is going to get pulled from my grasp.

So here’s to essential oils and herbs, prescription pain pills and netflix, video games and absorbing novels, heating pads and soft blankets – that make it all a little easier to bear.

~Laura

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