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Health Update – Sept 2020

Hello! Thanks for coming to spend some time at SGL!

This time around, as I didn’t take any notes at all this past month on how I was doing, I decided to go through each symptom and fill them out. I was surprised at how often I wrote something along the lines of ‘this has eased’. Even with that being the case, I’ve still been a veritable wreck, so please don’t think that I’ve made some big strides in healing! If that were the case, I’d be announcing it loud and clear on here, believe me! Sometimes, even if things have calmed down, they are still overwhelming and difficult to deal with on a day to day basis.

Overall Health: Very back and forth – Severe migraines and crashing hard for hours at a time to feeling pretty well.

Migraine: It’s still too early to see any changes due to the Aimovig (monthly migraine shot) as I need to take 3 doses before I’ll hopefully start to see improvements. The Rizatriptan that I’ve started taking when they go nuclear have been good to have. Only once did it not seem to help, otherwise, they knock the pain out without any negative side effects. (I have been taking 1/2 a pill only). In this past month, only one nuclear migraine hit- but that lasted several days. Otherwise, the pain has responded to treatments well – and I’ve been able to go to bed without an ice pack several nights.

Sleep: This has been rough for multiple reasons. I took melatonin a few nights.

Memory/Brain Fog: This has improved a tiny bit more, I think

Vision: The odd not-wanting to focus issue has pretty much disappeared. My eyes aren’t hurting as often as they were, either. (not to say that they aren’t hurting at all anymore, it’s just not as often)

TMJ: Less popping, but still often tense and painful

Fatigue: After my nutrient IV, this eased some. I decided to increase Olivirex from every other day to every day – but it caused such terrible fatigue that I backed off of it again. I’ve actually not taken it at all these past 4-5 days. Noticing a big difference, even while on my cycle.

Fibromyalgia: I can’t believe how much this has eased. I still have slight aches in knees and elbows but it’s mostly ignorable. My left calf is still pretty bad but it’s eased as well.

Weight Loss: Baby steps by baby steps, it’s slowly happening

Mood: Oof da. Oy Vay and Augh. This has been a definite struggle.

Digestion: Back to my normal, and perhaps a little better than that even

My current protocol:

Biocidin, G.I. Detox, Olivirex, Biofilm Phase-2 Advanced, Low Dose Naltrexone, Xiao Chai Hu Tang, Candidastat, Yin Chao, Molybdenum, Berberine as well as CoQ10

~Laura

Tags: chronic fatigue, chronic fatigue syndrome, chronic illness, chronic migraine, chronic migraines, chronic pain, chronic pain management, lyme, lyme disease

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The Darkness in my Vision

9 Jul

On the edges of my vision there’s a shimmer.

A flash of color.

A vagueness.

A hint of the darkness to come.

I’ve learned that if I keep my eyes forward, it is somehow light enough to ignore. But if I look around, it roars out at me as a lion upon its prey. The strength of its presence causes my whole body to react. My head starts a low pounding, my stomach clenches and my knees feel weak. If left at it’s height, it will take over every part of me, leaving me writhing in pain and fear.

drknsssinmyvsion

Photo by Sebastian Muller on Unsplash

So I take the easy path. I fix my eyes straight ahead and breathe deeply. I push it back down. And try not to imagine the colors – the rainbow of them arching out from the center that is a blinding white. I try not to think of the blurriness that makes everything around that color, ‘other’. Something other than what it is. Something that no longer makes sense, as if it’s from another time or place. Something that leaves it’s edges behind with every blink of my eyes.

As my breathing deepens and the shimmer lessens, I forget about the urgency of doing more to avoid it returning and blithely go about my day. The lion has been tamed and the prey has been rescued.

For the moment, at least.

Once again, another head turn, a glance too fast for my eyes to adjust and there it is again. But this time, the shimmer is brighter. Bigger. And somehow, darker. The colors have turned deeper shades of themselves, the blinding white has taken on a ferocious tint. As my head pounds again and my joints turn to mush, I remember with clarity that this has happened already today. My hands will shake if I let them, from the fear that is dogging me now, but I harden my will and do what I have to do to avoid the nightmare that just might come anyway.

The darkness is like the lion in the show – the audience blissfully believes it to be tamed and so will draw nearer it than they should. But the trainer knows that it’s only biding its time until it can strike when the trainer has turned his back and let down his guard.

The darkness is coming.

~This is a description of the visual auras that I’ve been getting off and on the past 14 years. The nightmare that comes after this, is a complete loss of vision in my left eye for about half an hour and then such a vicious migriane (I’ve taken to calling them nuclear migraines) that I’m left crying, laying with an ice pack on my face and if I do have to move, I end up crying even more. These are the ones that make me wonder if I will live through it; they make me wonder if there will ever even be an end to the pain. So there’s good reason to avoid these as much as possible. Of course, sometimes, no matter what you do, they come anyway.

~Laura

Tags: blindness due to migraine, chronic migraine, chronic migraines, health, lyme disease, migraine, migraines, temporary blindness, vision loss, visual auras