Thin Walls and Silent Doors

6 Aug

I wrote most of this late one night on my phone while trying to block the light from waking up my OH. I dusted it off and then finished it in order to share it with you guys today. I hope you like this writing snippet.

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Photo by Paweł Czerwiński on Unsplash

“Sometimes, you give your heart freely, others it’s stolen from you, and sometimes you have no rights to it at all.”
“Lonnie?” The name was spoken hesitantly.
“Lonnie never cared about my heart. He only wanted to possess me.” She spoke softly, but with a hard edge to her words.
He could hear her sister shift uncomfortably, Fern had her own memories of Lonnie.

He finished closing the door, as silent as he could. The surprise he’d planned for the girls was waiting outside. He admitted to himself that as much as he wanted to make Fern smile, it was really Helen that he…
“And Garrett!?”
He froze at the sound of his name.
” Garrett .I … He… It’s a little of the first two, I guess. He stole my heart, and I gave it freely. Even though I knew it was pointless. Nothing can happen between us.”
His heart stopped beating at the first admission and broke at the second. Tears coursed down his cheeks as he stood in the entry way. Of course, he’d known she was still getting over what Lonnie had done. He’d known it would take a long time for her to be ready to open her heart again. But the finality in her voice made him wonder if she ever truly would. He breathed deeply against the pain, trying to stem the flow of tears so the girls wouldn’t hear. The walls of his house weren’t thick enough to block the sound of a broken heart.

Silence stretched thin in the other room. Finally Fern spoke, “I know I’m younger, Helen, but I want you to listen to me. Listen! If we stop livin’ and just. . . just give up inside then what has it all been for? We could’ve stayed there in that place. It wouldn’ta made any difference. But we got out. We’re out, Helen. And I’m not sayin’ that you should just… just jump in Garrett’s arms or nothin’ but he’s a good man. He’s the tree that the wind blows but can’t uproot. Give life a chance. Don’t stop livin’.”

Garrett would have given much to see inside the room after Fern’s words but he didn’t want to interrupt such an important conversation. He silently blessed Fern for her words to her older sister.  He dragged in a ragged breath, waiting for Helen’s response. A footstep outside the door alerted him and he moved to intercept the person before they knocked. He eased the door open and motioned them to be quiet, all the while his ear cocked for any word from Helen.

“Helen?”

A soft sigh drifted to him, “I’ve got nothin’ left in me. Nothin’ at all. Nothin’ Garrett would want. Nothin’ that I even want. No. No, Fern, no more. I’ve heard you, now you hear me. I’m wrung out and I can’t…I can’t.”

Before Garrett could move, Helen burst from the room. Blinded by tears, she didn’t see him standing there, one hand on the door while the other reached out for her. She bolted to the room across the hallway, slamming the door shut. Slowly he opened the front door wider, and cancelled the surprise he’d planned. There would be no smiling tonight.

He wasn’t sure if he ever would again.

 

Health Update July 2019

3 Aug

It’s funny how the hardest part of writing these updates is this introduction. I rarely know just what I want to say right off, so I end up staring at the page, wishing I could just write something, because the rest of the post is done and then I can finish it off! Alas, intros are hard. Apparently. Maybe not for you though.

Anyhow, I’ve gotten this one written up at last.

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Overall Health: I think I can say that, yet again, I’m doing better. Fatigue, while less than it was, is still a major struggle. My fibromyalgia has kicked up in my back and calves/feet again.

7/22- increased LDN to 2.5mg a day.
7/24- started atovaquile, taking at breakfast – before 9am. Felt decent all day,  worked in yard am.  Tired in evening but no big crash
7/25- fatigue all day long. Felt good aside from it. Couldn’t nap.  Migraine tried to flare mid aft. 
7/26- felt well,  cleaned in am.  Fatigue hit around 11am. Related to new pills? 
7/29 increased  LDN to 3 mg. Slept better,  fuzzy brain early am next morning
7/30 – felt good in am,  cleaned house and worked out. Tired in aft but not overwhelming.  Napped after dinner.  Migraine kicked up to a 7? Back/left calf hurt evening and all night. 

7/31 – ran errands in morning, felt ‘off’ and was sensitive to smells while out.  vision loss and nuclear migraine early afternoon, slept/cried/iced for about 4 hours, felt decent enough to get up and make dinner.

8/1 – fragile and dealing with aftermath of nuclear migraine. trying to keep the migraine from flaring again

Migraine:  Only one nuclear migraine (and that was the 31st!)  Mostly, the pain level gets to an 8. And hovers. I’ve had a bit of the odd visual auras (which I found out at my last dr appt that it’s called scintillating scotoma) but not near as much as last month.

Sleep:  I’m still getting 6 to 7 hours a night, with at least 3 wakings. Majority of them I need the ice pack on the pillow.  But there was about a week where I barely needed the ice pack. *yes, this is the exact same as last month!*

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Memory/Brain Fog:  This has improved a little bit more – I’m noticing I’m able to recall words/names easier. But when the brain fog hits – man, it hits.

Vision: The auras have eased.  I just talked about this in the migraine section – go check out that article, it’s about these colors/blur/black spots. Well worth the read.

TMJ:  I’m happy to report that my teeth don’t ache very often anymore. I’ve still been taking naps without my night guard (shame on me, I know) and that is when my jaw is most tense but… well, I figure that’s my fault. It only pops a few times a week now.

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Fatigue: This has decreased a bit, it still hits me and when I take naps they can be a few hours long, but I’m not taking them every day. And I’m not falling asleep directly after dinner either –well, mostly. Overall, I’m able to do more, I just have to space things out and be aware that I need rest times in between.

Fibromyalgia:  As I said above, my back is hurting again. And, I still have my calf aching/cramping/burning pain fairly regularly and my feet do these ‘great’ little nerve freaking out sessions.

Weight Loss: Minimal, but I’m determined to focus on this again!

Mood: I’m very pleased to report that this has mellowed out again and I’m certain it’s because I started back up on Xiao Chai Hu Tang. Remind me to stay on these chinese herbs. It’s worth it. – this reminder is still real guys.

Digestion:   This is still, thankfully, at my normal.

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As my notes said, I started taking atovaquile just over a week ago. I haven’t noticed any negative or positive side effects from it yet, so I’m waiting to hear back from my doctor. She has me on it for 30 days, just to see if we can kill off some of these buggers. (no, I’m not very technical, sorry.)

I’m still taking NP Thyroid every morning. As well as LDN every evening. Each week I’m increasing that dosage until I hit 4.5 mg.

Since I can’t remember the last time I updated my full list of supplements/vitamins, I’ll share them with you today:

Andrographis

B2

Bearberry (I’m finishing up the bottle I have and then stopping)

Butterbur

Berberine

Calcium

Chaste Tree/Vitex

Complete Mineral Complex

Feverfew

Fibronol

H2PLX

Horse Chestnut

MG

St. John’s Wort

Turmeric

COQ10

Iberogast

Xiao Chai Hu Tang

Liver

And that’s it folks, if you’ve got any questions, I’ll do my best to answer them. I did want to share the post that I wrote about the scintillating scotoma (before I knew what they were called).

Thanks for stopping by SGL today,

Laura

 

Hunted by Meagan Spooner Review

26 Jul

If you’ve been around SGL for a while, you probably know that I really enjoy a good retelling of fairy tales ( I’ll link some of my reviews of retellings at the bottom of this post). My friend and I found this book at Powell’s bookstore and I immediately said ‘we’ve got to get this’. I mean, look at that gorgeous cover! And when you read the synopsis, I’m sure you’ll understand why I was instantly hooked.

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I’ve never read Meagan Spooner before but I’m now eager to try more of her books. I know, of course that sometimes, there’s just one book that I’ll love of an author. I really liked the different twists given on this timeless tale of Beauty and the Beast. It’s been weeks since I finished it and I’m still thinking about it. Which means I’m likely to pick this up again soon. Yes. It really was that good.

I’m going to pull the synopsis straight from the back of the book for you:

“Beauty knows the Beast’s forest in her bones – and in her blood. 

Here in the wilderness Yeva is under no pressure to make idle chatter with vapid baronessas… or to submit to marrying a wealthy gentleman. Here she feels one with the ebb and flow of life. Here she is home. 

But when Yeva’s father goes missing in the woods, Yeva sets her sights on one prey : the creature he’d been obsessively tracking just before his disappearance.

Deaf to her sister’s protests, Yeva hunts this strange Beast back into his own territory – a cursed valley, a ruined castle and a world of creatures that Yeva’s only heard about in fairy tales. A world that can bring her ruin, or salvation.”

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Here are a few of my favorite quotes:

“She moves like beauty, she whispers to us of wind and forest—and she tells us stories, such stories that we wake in the night, dreaming dreams of a life long past. she reminds us of what we used to be. She reminds us of what we could be.”

“She was so tired after all. Tired of fairy tales, and magic, and empty castles. Tired of wanting so intensely that she didn’t know what she wanted.”

“The satisfaction of desires sated was short and pale in comparison to the dream of wanting.”

Getting little snippets from the Beast’s side added so much to the tale, and gave us a chance to see the Beast more fully than just a selfish man having to pay a heavy price until someone comes to, basically, rescue him. His story is just as important as Beauty’s and getting to read his feelings about his transformation, about Beauty and…well, all of it, was great.

I appreciated the moral lesson that Spooner wove through the tale. She also seems to have taken inspiration from classic fairy tales that were darker and … well, more full of death. But she did it well. There isn’t any overly done, gross scenes in regard to hunting – there are descriptions of course but Spooner doesn’t get graphic with the telling.

There isn’t any sex scenes- thank you so much for that Meagan! – I appreciate a YA novel that has a good romance story without feeling the need to go to that level.

I did feel that this book could have been longer. It might have been a bit slow in pace (not that I minded) but I did feel that just all of a sudden you were at the ending. I’d have liked either a better balance or the book just enough longer that I wasn’t left going (near the end) with a – ‘wait, what?’

Thankfully, this wasn’t enough to ruin the book for me, I’m able to overlook it because she showed us a strong character in Beauty with enviable hunting skills ; a beautiful world set in old Russia ; a Beast that’s trying and Beauty’s sisters were fully rounded characters that, honestly, I’d love to read more of. I’ll add that the book didn’t end where I was going ‘wait, what?’ and that helped a lot, I think. She finished out the story a bit, leaving that bitter taste a bit diluted.

I’ve read that she’s working on a novel titled “Sherwood” and you can bet that I’m going to be reading that one. This novel has definitely made it to my favorite reads for this year. And, if you’re interested, here’s a few other retellings that I’ve read and loved over the years.

Wildwood Dancing  by Juliet Marillier

Beauty by Robin Mckinley

Spindle’s End by Robin Mckinley

~Laura

Do you love retellings? Have any favorites? I’d absolutely love to hear about them!

 

The Darkness in my Vision

9 Jul

On the edges of my vision there’s a shimmer.

A flash of color.

A vagueness.

A hint of the darkness to come.

I’ve learned that if I keep my eyes forward, it is somehow light enough to ignore. But if I look around, it roars out at me as a lion upon its prey. The strength of its presence causes my whole body to react. My head starts a low pounding, my stomach clenches and my knees feel weak. If left at it’s height, it will take over every part of me, leaving me writhing in pain and fear.

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Photo by Sebastian Muller on Unsplash

So I take the easy path. I fix my eyes straight ahead and breathe deeply. I push it back down. And try not to imagine the colors – the rainbow of them arching out from the center that is a blinding white. I try not to think of the blurriness that makes everything around that color, ‘other’. Something other than what it is. Something that no longer makes sense, as if it’s from another time or place. Something that leaves it’s edges behind with every blink of my eyes.

As my breathing deepens and the shimmer lessens, I forget about the urgency of doing more to avoid it returning and blithely go about my day.  The lion has been tamed and the prey has been rescued.

For the moment, at least.

Once again, another head turn, a glance too fast for my eyes to adjust and there it is again. But this time, the shimmer is brighter. Bigger. And somehow, darker. The colors have turned deeper shades of themselves, the blinding white has taken on a ferocious tint. As my head pounds again and my joints turn to mush, I remember with clarity that this has happened already today.  My hands will shake if I let them, from the fear that is dogging me now, but I harden my will and do what I have to do to avoid the nightmare that just might come anyway.

The darkness is like the lion in the show – the audience blissfully believes it to be tamed and so will draw nearer it than they should. But the trainer knows that it’s only biding its time until it can strike when the trainer has turned his back and let down his guard.

The darkness is coming.

~This is a description of the visual auras that I’ve been getting off and on the past 14 years. The nightmare that comes after this, is a complete loss of vision in my left eye for about half an hour and then such a vicious migriane (I’ve taken to calling them nuclear migraines) that I’m left crying, laying with an ice pack on my face and if I do have to move, I end up crying even more. These are the ones that make me wonder if I will live through it; they make me wonder if there will ever even be an end to the pain. So there’s good reason to avoid these as much as possible. Of course, sometimes, no matter what you do, they come anyway. 

~Laura

June 2019 Book Reviews

3 Jul

I read such different styles of book this past month that I hope you find something to add to your To-Read list!

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Photo by Claudia on Unsplash

~While covering different genres, I do not read anything that has blatant sexual content. I will tell you if there is any sort of such (typically very mild and delicately put) in them and if I don’t think they’d be appropriate for young/teenage readers.~

 

Lord of Chaos (book 6 of the Wheel of Time series) by Robert Jordan – Two different Aes Sedai embassies prepare to travel to meet with Rand Al’Thor, the Dragon Reborn. Morgase finds herself an ally but it’s not one that she expected, or wanted. Mat continues to follow Rand’s outlandish plan. Perrin Aybara, Lord of the Two Rivers, feels the pull of ta’averen and prepares to march.

~Jordan was a genius at weaving together so many different story lines. When I start one of these books, I’m a bit overwhelmed but they suck me in every single time. I admit I still count Perrin as one of my favorites. I have enjoyed seeing Morgase’s story take a different turn than I was expecting -and that of her sons’. All in all, this took me about a month to finish (I kept picking up lighter novels) but as soon as I picked it up I was instantly transported back to their world and would have a hard time putting it down. 

The Binnies and the Dogs and Cats from Everywhere by Jo Ann Stover – The Binnie family tries several things to deal with so many dogs and cats. One of those ways is by moving all of their furniture outside so the cats and dogs can enjoy living in the house.

~I picked this book up at the library’s book sale because I just could not resist the title, nor the drawings throughout. It was a fun, silly story with a good deal of heart. I enjoyed it and am looking forward to passing it on to some of my nephews (and niece).

The Painter’s Daughter by Julie Klassen – Sophie Dupont has been assisting in her father’s studio for years, a shop that is popular with artists as it is near the north Devon coast. When a handsome artist, Wesley Overtree arrives and compliments her not only on her beauty but on her painting as well, Sophie falls hard for him. When he disappears, leaving her in a difficult position, she’s not sure what she’ll do. But then his brother, Captain Stephen Overtree arrives, looking for Wesley to take him home. Finding instead, a young woman suffering from his brother’s recklessness, Stephen offers to marry her in name only. Sophie must decide if she’ll wait for the uncertain chance that Wesley will return or if she’ll trust her future to his brooding brother.

~Finding this at a used bookstore was one of the best things. Seriously. If you’ve been following SGL the past few months, you’ll know that I’ve fallen in love with Klassen’s stories. This one did not disappoint in the least. Because of the subject matter, it was a little more…personal than others of hers. But she wrote it well, touching on the topic without being vulgar. I loved both Sophie’s and Stephen’s struggles throughout. And the other twists and turns throughout meant that I was pleasantly surprised at the end. I highly recommend this novel, although not for a younger audience. Also, this one has gone onto my ‘favorites of the year’ list. 

Bittersweet (California Historical #2) by Cathy Marie Hake – After years of being in love with Galen O’Sullivan, Laney McCain is sure that now is finally the time that he’ll notice the woman she’s become. But squatters on his land divert him. Young Ishmael and Ivy Grubb are uneducated but Galen allows them to stay on, paying them for help around the farm. But he’ll soon have cause to regret his generosity, as will Laney.

~My review on Letter Perfect, the first book of this short series is here.  Sadly, these are the only two! Anyway, I loved getting to read more about the McCain family. And reading more of the O’Sullivan family as well. I just really enjoy reading about families that are close knit through faith and intentionality. Hake crafts a well-written tale with unexpected twists that keep you gasping and guessing. I enjoy these as they are full of faith, but also because they are just plain fun to read (like the Klassen books!). I definitely recommend this one to lovers of historical fiction. There are mentions of intimacy and a young girl being in a compromising situation against her will (if you get my drift) but it’s carefully worded and not gone into. Which, if such a thing must be in a story, that’s how I like/need it to be. 

Raven Flight (book #2 of Shadowfell series) by Juliet Marillier – Having reached Shadowfell, Neryn can finally rest. But too soon she learns that she must leave her new rebel friends and seek out each of the four Guardians to learn how to be a Caller. In order to learn how to use her canny gift to call the Good Folk to help them in their battle against Keldec.

~Click here to read the series review (this is one of my FAVORITE series you guys.)

Hunted by Meagan Spooner – watch for a separate review, you don’t want to miss it!!!

I also started Wolfskin by Juliet Marillier but there were some things in it that I’m not a fan of. I’ve put it down and am honestly not sure if I’ll even pick it up again.

 

Currently Reading:

The Good Neighbor: The Life and Work of Fred Rogers by Maxwell King

The Secrets of Pembrooke Park by Julie Klassen

The Mountain Valley War by Louis L’amour (audiobook)

 

To-Read:

The Human Superorganism by Rodney Dietert, PhD

Steelheart by Brandon Sanderson

Diamond of the Rockies series by Kristen Heitzmann

The Librarian of Auschwitz by Antonio Iturbe

 

Health Update June 2019

28 Jun

When I go to write these health updates, the very first thing I do is pull out my phone and go to my notes. Where I’ve faithfully – or not- kept a log of how I’ve been feeling. Then I’ll email that log to myself and copy and paste it below my Overall Health section… (the wonders of technology that makes that so simple). Well. When I just searched for it, apparently I didn’t put down one day in my log for this month. Not even one day! So, I’m having to rely completely on my memory for this post. Which should be interesting…

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Overall Health: I hesitantly say that I’m doing better than I was at last month’s update. Overwhelming fatigue and visual auras still command much of my attention though.

Migraine:  Thankfully, I haven’t had  more than one turn into a nuclear migraine but there have been several that have wanted to. Mostly, the pain level gets to an 8. And hovers. There have been several days that I didn’t need a clonidine until later in the afternoon, and others where I was taking one right after getting up (and all through the day) and yet nothing would touch the pain.

Sleep:  I’m hitting 6 to 7 hours a night, with at least 3 wakings. Majority of them I need the ice pack on the pillow.  But there was about a week where I barely needed the ice pack.

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Memory/Brain Fog:  This has improved a little I think.

Vision: The auras just don’t want to go away this month. Most days I have a vague sense that my vision is off somehow and others, I get the more intense colors/blur/black spots. Thankfully so far this month, I haven’t lost sight in my left eye at all.

TMJ:  This is about the same as last month although since I’ve been randomly falling asleep during the day (this means without my night guard), my jaw is tenser and my teeth ache a little more. Other than carrying my night guard around with me, I’m not sure how to help this.

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Fatigue: I can’t even tell you how much this has decreased you guys. Partly because it would be hard to describe that change and yet get across how much it is still affecting me -and like I’ve mentioned above, I’m taking almost daily naps. Most of them are right after dinner (picture me dragging myself from table to couch without cleaning up from the meal type of tired).

Fibromyalgia:  Even with cheating last week, this hasn’t been near too terrible. I still have my left side (especially my calf) aching/cramping/burning pain fairly regularly but the intensity has eased.

Weight Loss: Minimal

Mood: I’m very pleased to report that this has mellowed out again and I’m certain it’s because I started back up on Xiao Chai Hu Tang. Remind me to stay on these chinese herbs. It’s worth it.

Digestion:  We’re staying at my normal! Which, is clearly not what it should be but I’m okay with it for now.

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SO. I’d like to state the reason for my improvements for this month.

We took me off the doxycycline. The day before I went in to my doctor, it hit me that I’d been feeling awful for 6 weeks. And I’d been on the doxy for….6 weeks. My body just couldn’t handle it. You know what else has disappeared? The rash all over my face.

I am still taking the NP Thyroid and believe that it’s helping my fatigue.

It’s been a slow battle coming back from being on that antibiotic and I’m thankful that I’m getting back to how I felt before. Of course, it’s frustrating that I fell that far downhill but I’m glad I tried it because now we know. 

As of the 24th, I started LDN’s (low dose naltrexone)- we’re targeting my migraines with this. I’ve been told that they are tolerated very well. We’ve started me out at 0.5mg and are going to slowly increase the dose til I reach 4.5mg (which is the standard dosage). I had to really force myself to do this – after such a strong reaction to the antibiotics, I really just wanted to curl up and lick my wounds. But I knew that that wasn’t the right decision. I can’t waste any more time that I could potentially be getting well, just to get over fear. Sometimes, that’s the right choice. But this time, I knew I had to push myself and just try it.

Because I can’t even imagine life without migraines. I’ve been having them since I was…18 or 19. To go through a day, two days, a week! without one… Ahhh, what a thought. And if we can get these to go away/ or just minimize them, we believe that some of my other pains will ease as well.

So here’s to being bold and trying new things in the slow journey to health.

~Laura

 

 

War Torn Heart Book Review

18 Jun

I have another book review for you today! There’s something fun about just reviewing one book in a post. I’m able to expand on what I thought of it, which obviously, talking about books is one of my favorite things.

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War Torn Heart by Allison Wells is set in South Carolina as the rumors of war are starting. Abigail Walker is sixteen and set to enjoy her last summer as more a girl than young woman but then she meets Harvey Nicholas. As a cadet at Celmson College, he’s as far from her world as he could be. But sparks fly and Abigail happily spends her free time with Harvey. As summer progresses, they fall in love.

When the rumors, and then the reality of war, reaches their quiet small town, Abigail is worried that Harvey and her brother are going to go running off into it. And when Pearl Harbor is bombed, that’s exactly what happens. Both young men are eager to protect their loved ones.

Neither of them are prepared for the tragedy and cost of what the war will bring. It will test their love, loyalty and faith. If they let it, they will grow to be men and women of faith and endurance.

But will Abigail be able to hold onto what she knows is right and true in the midst of it all?

~I was so excited about this book. Plus, I mean, look at that cover. Go ahead. Scroll back up and look at it. I’ll wait. Isn’t it just perfection? I love when a cover just hits the nail on the head. I’d never read anything by Wells before, so like I said, I was excited to dive into this war-time coming of age story. 

I did end up enjoying this book, I want to start with that, okay? There were some places in the story that just dragged too much or I felt that the story line was rushed where I would have loved to have more details. I greatly enjoyed seeing Abigail grow up through the trials. She went from a young woman of girl-ish beliefs to a woman that had been through struggles and come out knowing who she was in her faith. The heartbreak in the book was – so- heartbreaking – it – hurt. There were twists and turns that I was impressed with. While the ending did seem a bit abrupt, it was sweet. 

There were some things I didn’t like about it, but mostly they are more of a personal problem that I have when they are in ANY book. The statements that most any young girl will make/think but that, as they grow, they realize just aren’t true. Statements about God, mostly. I would have loved to see Wells work in the fact that Abigail learned how incorrect her assumptions in those areas were.  

Like I started out with, I did end up enjoying this book. Will I read it again? It’s a mix of maybe and probably. It was a sweet story overall and the setting of the war is one that I don’t read a lot of. I wouldn’t recommend it for younger readers unless an adult has pre-read it for them because there is some mild content that was a bit more than I can recommend for young readers. As well as some aspects of their relationship that while it is real-life accurate, can come across as completely acceptable. (which clearly, I don’t think is.)

While covering different genres, I do not read anything that has blatant sexual content. I will tell you if there is any sort of such (typically very mild and delicately put) in them and if I don’t think they’d be appropriate for young/teenage readers.

~Laura

*I did receive this free for my personal opinion and review from Ambassador International*

I Tried FlyLady for a Month. Here’s What I Think

11 Jun

 

In the beginning of May I started reading up on a cleaning system. It’s called the FlyLady Cleaning System.

FlyLady is a support and self-help group that offers advice to help people with housekeeping, founded by “The FlyLady”, Marla Cilley. … FlyLady’s messages cover topics include clutter, the value of routines, weekly and monthly cleaning, increased self-esteem, and letting go of perfectionism.” – wikipedia

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Photo by Good Soul Shop on Unsplash

Now, I have to tell you that I’m not a naturally messy person – I can’t stand piles of anything laying around. The messier the space around me is, the more stressed out I get. I’m a self-professed clean freak. But.

I’m also chronically ill. And have been for the last 14 years. (*thankfully it’s only been the last @7 years that I haven’t been able to work.)  This means that I am just not able to keep the house at the level of clean that I want to. I wear out so easily and get frustrated that I can’t get to the deep cleaning because I’m struggling to just keep up with the daily.

Day 1 : I’d already prepped the lists to be ready for today. I did the Swish and Swipe, emptied the dishwasher and later in the afternoon, set my timer for 15 minutes. I wiped the counter and sink in the guest bath and then did a quick vacuum of the guest room. Since I still had (almost half) of my time left, I decided to do a quick vacuum of the whole house. I’ve also started a load of towels. I’m pleased with what I got done as I’m still battling fatigue today and a fluctuating migraine. Thankfully, I’ve been working on doing the dishes in the morning anyway so that habit was already started.

Day 2: a day of fatigue and migraine. I did the Swish and Swipe and emptied the dishwasher. Nothing else.

~I was going to keep track of the days but I didn’t… coughcough, but I feel like these two days give a good example of just how it goes. One or two days I’ll do well with hitting the 15 odd minutes of zone cleaning and the next, I’d do nothing. But that’s fine! Those few days I still made progress.

~It’s been over a week since I started the Flylady, but with fatigue hitting me last week as it did, I wasn’t able to keep up with even the Swish and Swipe (a quick scrub of the toilet and wipe of the sink). But, I have been more intentional (when I could be) about emptying the sink of dishes at night and having the kitchen counters clear and wiped off.  The relief in the morning of coming into a decently clean kitchen is definitely worth the extra effort in the evening.

~I’m noticing that I’m more intentional about doing quick wipe downs of things that before I would probably have waited until I was doing a full clean of the area/room.

So, while maybe I wasn’t quite as successful my first week as an unofficial FlyBaby, I’m already benefiting from this cleaning system.

My feelings, three weeks later, are the same. I am finding that I have started thinking about cleaning differently. Instead of seeing a whole room or situation that needs tackled, I am able to focus on one area (like cleaning out and wiping down a side table in the living room) and being proud of myself that I accomplished something. Now, I do want to point out that I did not follow her baby steps. As someone who wasn’t starting from a cluttered house, or from a lack of any sort of cleaning habits, I skipped the baby steps and settled into a wee bit of a morning routine and cleaning in zones. The point of Flylady, that I’ve gathered, is to make it WORK FOR YOU. Go as slow as you need to on her baby steps. Don’t go for perfection. Just jump in wherever they are in the daily emails and join them.

I’ll also add that I’ve not been good about setting the timer for 15 minutes. Maybe it’s because I move at a slow pace and know that if I try to hurry and get as much as possible done in that amount of time, I’ll end up causing my fibromyalgia to flare later, or I’ll just use all of my energy up and be stuck on the couch the rest of the day. So. I move at my own pace, get however much done in a bit of time and stop when I need to.

Now, the website is daunting. Don’t worry about it though. Just sign up for the emails and follow along. Since I didn’t start from the very beginning of Flybaby steps, I click through the email link to the current Zone Detailed Cleaning List and hand write those out. The emails are a bit overwhelming in their amount. But to deal with this, I’m thinking that once I’ve written all the detailed cleaning lists out, I’m going to unsubscribe from them. Once again though, if you really want to try this, don’t worry about it. Just delete the ones you don’t absolutely need in order to do this at your own pace.

As you can see in the first photo, I am not even attempting the evening routines. (you’re encouraged to take each task on one at a time, slowly building up to having these full routines morning and evening). Evenings are when my pain flares, so like I said before, the only thing I try for is to get the kitchen cleaned up. But, I wrote this list out at the very beginning, so I just ignore it now.

The second photo is of zone 3 and for me that means it’s the guest bath, guest bedroom and closet. This is my second time in this zone but apparently I already wiped away the check marks from last month! So sad.

And the third photo is zone 4 and for me that is main bed, bath and closet. It is encouraged that you go from the top of the list down, so that, when you come back to the zone the next month, you can pick up where you left off. And by doing that, you rotate nicely through the room over the months. But, as you can tell, I did what I felt like in the room and left it at that.

I am trying to follow that idea better in the other rooms now, because it does make sense. I even wrote out the list for the dining room from top to bottom cleaning (starting with dusting cobwebs, down to windows and ending with cleaning baseboards and mopping the floor).

What prompted me, as a person struggling with multiple chronic illnesses, to start this? I’ll tell you, The Secret Slob. She’s so fun to watch and breaks this system down into something a bit more understandable and manageable than the website does. Go check out her videos – she’s just finished up a video series of going through the zones with us. This one just might inspire me to fancy up my lists as well.

If you’re struggling to keep up on house cleaning, or are feeling like you’re drowning in clutter, I recommend you giving this cleaning system a shot! And if you do, come back and let me know, I would love to hear about it.

~Laura

May 2019 Book Review

4 Jun

Now, if you’re wondering by my picture — if I really only read three books in May, no, I read more than that. Double that – plus a few I’m still reading – actually. But, some are part of a series, and one you have to wait a little longer for! You’ll be able to tell that I started and am actually still in, a genre read. It’s been fun pairing light, historical fiction novels with the meatier, slower read of Robert Jordan.

~While covering different genres, I do not read anything that has blatant sexual content. I will tell you if there is any sort of such (typically very mild and delicately put) in them and if I don’t think they’d be appropriate for young/teenage readers.~

Let’s get to it, shall we?

may2019bkreviews

The Inheritance by Tamera Alexander – Accepting her cousin’s invitation to join them in Colorado was an easy decision, but McKenna Ashford’s real reason lay in the haughty attitude of her younger brother. She is determined to get them a fresh start and hopefully, tame his ever growing wild streak. But life in Copper Creek isn’t what she thought it would be. The responsibilities of an unexpected inheritance threaten her resolve to be independent while offering an second chance, if only she can keep it.  U.S. Marshall Wyatt Caradon never expected to be drawn into such a heartbreaking situation – but something about McKenna pulls him back to Copper Creeek and makes him think of leaving behind his years of living on the trail. Can they both trust again though?

~I don’t know why it took me so long to pull this off of my TBR shelf but it quickly shot up to my historical-fiction-favorites list. It is no secret I enjoy this genre, especially when it’s western-based. But Alexander delivered such a refreshing story – filled with obstacles, tender moments, sweet friendships all with a realism that I appreciated. The morals/life lessons within add depth to the story, helping lend weight to the full plot and well-rounded characters. There really can’t be enough good said about this book! I’m already ready to read it again, honestly. (I can’t though, I’ve far too large of a TBR pile) I highly recommend this heart-wrenching-and-warming novel. 

Libby’s Cuppa Joe by Rebecca Waters – When Sonja Parker receives an inheritance from her grandmother, she buys a popular coffee shop in a small town in Wisconsin’s Door County. She eagerly leaves behind her disappointing city life and settles into the new one of business owner and coffee maker. But she quickly learns that there’s more to owning a business than serving up a good cup of coffee – repairs must be made to the building, and to her heart.  Can she make a go of this new business? And can she find her way back to the God that she’s left behind?

~I received this free in exchange for my honest review and I have to tell you, right now, it’s not a great review. I didn’t connect with Libby at all (her actions/thoughts felt more in line with someone much younger). I made it halfway through the book before giving up on it. And that took at least two weeks to get that far on it. BUT! I’m passing it on to my mom to read and then I intend on giving it another shot. 

Letter Perfect  (California Historical #1) by Cathy Marie Hake – Ruth Caldwell has tried hard to live up to the expectations of her mother. But no matter how hard she tries, she always ends up doing or saying just what she shouldn’t. And she unknowingly steps into another scrape when she travels out to the Broken P Ranch. Josh McCain is stunned to learn that Ruth has a legitimate claim to the ranch, the one he was all set to inherit. His future at the ranch suddenly precarious and as ‘accidents’ around this green-eyed beauty turn sinister, Josh has to decide just who he trusts- and loves.

~Hake is now officially one of my favorite authors in her genre. Of course, I’ve read books by her before but this (and the Gooding series below) have cemented her place in the Favorites category. This is a great first book in the series, although it’s a great stand alone novel. I liked Ruth’s inclination to pitch in and help (even if things don’t necessarily go as planned) and how she gets creative to meet her goals. Even though she doesn’t fit in the mold that society has cast her in, she still is herself. The twists this story took were so unexpected that I kept gasping in surprise and shock! I enjoyed getting to know Gavin O’Sullivan and his family as well (he’s a main character in the second book -review next month!). You definitely should read this one if you are in the mood for a make you laugh and cry faith based novel. 

Serendipity (Only in Gooding #5) and That Certain Spark (#4) by Cathy Marie Hake – Apparently I’m reading this series back to front. But I’m okay with that as I’ve read all of them before. You’ll get a series review when I’m done with them. Trust me though, This series is just as much fun as you hope for.

Shadowfell by Juliet Marillier – click here for a full review of one of my favorite series! I have to add that I showed considerable restraint by only grabbing the first book from the library but when I went back with the intent to get the second one, it wasn’t there! It was probably for the best though, as I am still making my way through Lord of Chaos…

War Torn Heart by Allison Wells- Click here for a separate review!

 

Currently Reading:

Lord of Chaos (book 6 of the Wheel of Time series) by Robert Jordan

Write by Karen E. Peterson, Phd

The Binnies and the Dogs and Cats from Everywhere by Jo Ann Stover

 

To Read:

Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Browne and King

The Painter’s Daughter by Julie Klassen

and 3 Cathy Marie Hake books I just got from the library =)

As you can see, this has definitely been a month of reading for me! What have you been reading lately?

~Laura

Health Update Apr/May 2019

30 May

All I can say is at least I’m getting this up before June starts. My levels, and types, of pain have made getting this post up such a bear. fightinglymemigraines

 

 

Overall Health:  It’s been a roller-coaster ride these past six weeks. That’s really all I can think to say about it. I went from doing pretty well during the days and crashing so-so in the evenings to….rough days and passing out at 8pm because I just can’t stay awake any longer. (only to wake up an hour later and not be able to sleep again til midnight.)

 

Apr 16 started doxycycline                                                                                                              Apr 30- good energy most of the day.  1 mile walk plus housework. Migraine kicked up afternoon,  clonidine calmed.  Started thyroid 9am. Tiny bumps on face in evening, not sure why? 
May 2- decent energy in am,  hit with fatigue around noon.  IV in afternoon.  
May 3- felt pretty well today,  fatigue hit afternoon. Tiny bumps on face again this evening and a tad bit last night. 
May 5- bumps again today, also around collarbone, some itchy. Fatigue early afternoon, napped but then foggy and dehydrated rest of afternoon.  Hungry like crazy in evening,  migraine kicked up a lot.  
Observations: fibropain is less intense.  Migraines are still sharp and increase a lot in evenings.  Clonidine helps,  overall but not always.  Evening hunger is common.  Fatigue is light in am but hits mid afternoon at least.  Needing a nap most days.  Foggy brain after. 
Went off of thyroid on may 11th to see if it was causing the rash on my face. Fatigue hit hard whole of following week, rash still present although not as bad? Fibromyalgia flared the same week.  Started thyroid back up on the 17th.
May 17 – visual  aura and nuclear migraine. 
May 21 Fatigue has eased a little bit since Sunday.  Felt off all day,  fending off another crash this evening

Migraine:  SIGH. The pain has been quite terrible lately, with one full blown visual aura/nuclear migraine this past Friday and three more attempting to blow up.

Sleep:  I’m hitting 6 to 7 hours a night, with at least 2 wakings. Majority of them I need the ice pack on the pillow. Several I’m having night sweats -even with the ice, joy oh joy – and of course, never waken feeling refreshed.

Memory/Brain Fog:  Brain fog has stayed around again. It’s kept my ability to focus on things at a minimum.

 

Vision: I have had four  FIVE visual auras in the past week. That’s about four more than I’ve  been having every few months. I’ve noticed that even in between lately, my eyes aren’t quite right. Looking at black text/white background can be difficult…

TMJ:  I have just realized this has eased. My teeth aren’t hurting as much or often as they used to. It has only popped a few times in the past few weeks. My jaw still regularly hurts but overall, this has definitely improved.

Screenshot_20190529-083154_Instagram

Fatigue: This is still my biggest current struggle. It can go from just marginally dragging to laying me out and making me fall asleep within half an hour. (this makes for interesting planning of errands…)

Fibromyalgia:  In a way this has decreased slightly. But my left side (top of head down to toes) frequently aches. If I stay away from processed sugar, the fibro stays down –remind me of this next time I’m tempted to cheat and have sugar.

Weight Loss: Non-existent.

Mood: This has been a bit topsy-turvy the last little bit but I’m sure it’s because of the levels of pain I’ve been dealing with. And hormones – hormones out of whack are fun. Eesh.

Digestion:  We’re back to my normal! woohoo!

Like I said in my notes above, I went off the Thyroid for several days to see if the mostly invisible rash that has appeared on my face was connected to it. I’m fairly confident now that it’s not, but the rash is still there (at least it is mostly impossible to see!) and I’m not sure why. I’ve also been trying to tell if the doxycycline has helped any of my symptoms, but really, with how I’ve been feeling, it’s so hard to separate the pain, you know? Even doing this update, it’s still all so foggy to be able to tell. I’ve also only been on the doxy for a month and a half, so I doubt that’s long enough to be able to tell anyway.

I will add about the Thyroid though, that I think the fatigue was going down after I first started it – so I’m hoping that will start happening again soon. I mean, I was taking Abby on a mile walk in the mornings, doing some house cleaning and making yummy dinners. Which, for me, is a pretty full/energy burning day. And now I’m barely getting her to the park, doing maybe 20 min of light cleaning and sort of maybe throwing a semblance of dinner together. Augh. I know this journey of healing is an up and down, switchback type of road but I’m ready to be through this particular rough stretch. Especially since I know that the pain in my left side would disappear if I was able to lose some weight.

~Laura

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