Writing prompt : Hesitant Fate part 2

17 Jan

The first two sentences of this short story was a prompt that quickly took me back to another short story I wrote back in September. It fit so nicely into it, plus it was nice to add to Hesitant Fate, I hope you enjoy it.

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Photo by gbarkz on Unsplash

You think you were always meant to save us? That path was never meant for you.”  Tashe’s eyes gleamed in the dim light of the room, her passion filling the space.

The younger girl shrunk, confused and hurt, further into the blanket wrapped around me.  He’d brought her here and filled her head with lies? What purpose was she here for then? She longed to ask, but the venom in Tashe’s voice, in her eyes, forbid such openness.  She stalked back and forth, her long stride hindered by the small quarters their prisoner had been assigned all those long days ago.

Tashe stopped her pacing to look closer at the girl, her expression clearly communicating her disdain. ” If you for one minute think that you’re going to get out of this alive… I’ve got my own plans, here, girl. Don’t –” Tashe turned at the door opening. Her posture stiffened in surprise just as the prisoner’s sagged in relief.

The figure filled the door frame, shoulders broader than any of her brothers or uncles could claim. He was well past double her age but she felt that he was as trapped by circumstances as she was. His silence filled the room, just as Tashe’s passion and rage recently had. The two warriors were poised, ready for a move from the other. Authority demanded obedience and respect, something Tashe knew, so she stiffly bowed, keeping her head low while she waited for him to move from the door. She held her head high when she walked out though, and the girl knew she’d only been saved this day from the woman’s anger. She would return.

“She’ll come back for you. Perhaps worse than this day. Be prepared, Chara.” Surprised to hear her thoughts spoken aloud, the girl moved her eyes to his worry-lined face. “I keep you as safe as I can. But I cannot refuse her entry here.”

“She said she has her own plans.” Chara spoke softly, hesitantly. While she sensed something trustworthy in this man, she knew he was dangerous. He’d seemed more so that first night, when he loomed over her in her bedroom and bore her away from her home. She hadn’t fought then and she hadn’t since. His unspoken sorrow at his actions had kept her anger mostly at bay. For some reason, she wanted to help him. Even if she didn’t understand exactly what he wanted from her yet.

“Tashe always has her own plans. Connivings. Schemes.” He pulled on his beard as he looked down at her.

Surprise lifted her brows. “You know of them?” He curtly nodded and she couldn’t help but remember Tashe’s other venomous words “If you for one minute think that you’re going to get out of this alive…”  Chara shuddered, wondering how brave she could be.

“Come. Eat with us.” He put on his most convincing smile and held his hand out to her. The poor girl hadn’t accepted in all the time she’d been there but he wanted her to see that they weren’t monsters. That he wasn’t a monster.

Uncertainty warred within her, the same as it did every evening when he asked. But with Tashe’s words ringing in her ears, she wondered if it would be best to investigate exactly where she was, and maybe she’d learn something… Taking a deep breath, she released her hold of the blanket and put her hand in his.

She’d get out of this alive. She had to.

 

My Favorite Reads of 2018

12 Jan

I just love reading about what books people loved, so that I can add them to my To-Be-Read pile! We all know that list can never be too long, so here’s some great books to add to your own TBR!

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Series

Evie Blackwell Cold Case by Dee Henderson (somehow I only ever reviewed the second book. I’ll work on that problem this month!)

Shadowfell by Juliet Marillier

Whispers on the Moor by Sarah E. Ladd (series review coming soon!)

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New Reads

The Finding of Jasper Holt by Grace Livingston Hill

Taken by Dee Henderson

As you Wish : Inconceivable Tales of the making of Princess Bride by Cary Elwes

The BFG by Roald Dahl

Truth be Told by Carol Cox

Distress Signals by Catherine Ryan Howard

Amazing Grace : William Wilberforce and the Heroic Campaign to End Slavery by Eric Metaxas

The Yellow Journalist by Miriam Michelson

The True Confessions of Charlotte Doyle by AVI

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Rereads

Mrs. Mike by Benedict and Nancy Freedman

Wildwood Dancing by Juliet Marillier

Rose Daughter by Robin Mckinley

Sophie’s Heart by Lori Wick

Mara: Daughter of the Nile by Eloise Jarvis Mcgraw

The Silent Governess by Julie Klassen

~Laura

 

Book Reviews – Dec 2018

5 Jan

So as I sat down to start this post, I always list all the books I read (thanks Goodreads, for making this easier than pounding my head on the desk trying to remember) and then go back and write the synopsis and my review of them. But as I started listing one after another, I couldn’t believe how much I’d read! So many books. I love it.

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Photo by Kari Shea on Unsplash

Only the River Runs Free book 1 of Galway Chronicles by Bodie Thoene – set in Ireland in the 1830’s, the feelings were bitter between the English landlords and the Irish tenants. Laws intended to distance the Irish from their heritage tore at the already struggling people. Hope was a distant thing for many – except for one woman, called Mad Molly Fahey. She promises that a miracle is on it’s way to their small village.

~I have read this one since I was a teenager and still enjoy it. The story tugs at your heart and you end up wanting poor Molly to be understood, for Kate to release her anger and Joseph to find his redemption. I have one confession to make, I’ve only read the second book – no more of the series. I’m not sure why, but there it is. This book has a satisfying enough ending that while you do of course, want to know what else happens to the characters, it’s well done in that you can close the cover content. I do need to read the rest of the series one of these days though! 

Daughter of the Forest by Juliet Marillier – As the seventh child, and only daughter, of a disinterested father, Sorcha is protected and loved by her older brothers. But when their father remarries and is bewitched by his new wife, Sorcha’s life is plunged into uncertainty. The evil enchantress puts a spell on all of Sorcha’s brothers – one that only she can break. By keeping silent. To speak is to lose her brothers. But her task is made more difficult when she is kidnapped by the enemies of her father and taken overseas. When a tender love surprises her, she is torn between saving her brothers and grabbing hold of it.

~I love Marillier’s books. So, grabbing this one from the book store a few months ago was a no-brainer for me. I quickly dived into it and loved it. All the way til…. about halfway through. Now, I understand why this particular event was in the story. It created obstacles, fears, etc for Sorcha and others to deal with. It moved the plot forward. I suppose it was more in the way that it was handled  – described – that bothered me. Descriptive and blunt. Too blunt for my taste. I put the book down for days before I decided to finish reading it. (which I normally don’t do.) And aside from the mentions/memories of that event, and a few…. overtures that she was forced to deal with, the book was great. It could easily have been a new favorite. But. That portion of the story was just too blunt and awful for my taste. Sadly, I won’t be reading it again.

Sisters of Bethlehem Springs Series by Robin Lee Hatcher separate post here – check it out, it was a great series!

The Silent Governess by Julie Klassen – I reviewed it here  a few years ago. Go check it out – it is a very good read! I grabbed it at a used book store recently and loved it just as much this time!

Mara : Daughter of the Nile by Eloise Jarvis McGraw – In order to gain freedom, the beautiful slave Mara, juggles the dangerous role of double spy to two arch enemies. Each are vying for contenders for the throne, intent on destroying the other. As she finds herself falling for one master, the charming and sly Lord Sheftu, she starts to want his plan of placing Thutmose III on the throne, to succeed. But her duplicity is revealed before she can bear her soul to Sheftu and soon, it’s not only Egypt’s fate that hangs in the balance, it is Mara’s very life.

~Mara’s daring and confidence are fun to watch as she navigates the different situations that her …position brings about. Reading a story set in ancient Egypt of political upheaval is unique and Sheftu is a delightful character. I probably read this one a few time a year (which makes me wonder how I haven’t reviewed it here on SGL before?!) Read it, I know you’ll love it. 

The Power of the Light: Eight Stories for Hanukkah by Isaac Bashevis Singer – The author shares a story for each night of Hanukkah – sweet stories of love triumphing, faith prevailing and miracles occurring.

~I immensely enjoyed these short stories. The pictures that went with each were charming as well.

The Art of Hanukkah by Nancy Berman -“A rich celebration of Hanukkah, featuring centuries of extraordinary art and artifacts… Menorahs, paintings, dreidels—all the wonderful elements of the celebration of Hanukkah from around the world and throughout the centuries have been brought together in this one marvelous book. Clear, insightful, and thought-provoking commentaries make this book a perfect complement to the holiday.” – from Goodreads

~Forgive my sharing what Goodreads had to say about it  but I just couldn’t figure out how to word this synopsis! This book is a treasure trove and I intend on buying it one day. The art and history was very interesting. 

Sophie’s Heart by Lori Wick – When Sophie arrives to keep house for Alec Riley and his kids, she isn’t all that sure what she’s getting into. Having come from Czechoslovakia as a language translator, she wonders if she’ll be content being a housekeeper. But the broken hearts of Alec and his children prove a worthy mission field.

~Ah, Lori Wick. A sweet story that I’ve read since I was a young teen, this book still encourages me to live out a day by day faith and trust in God. I enjoy the growth that you see in each of the Riley family, and in Sophie herself.

A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens – If Ebenezer Scrooge could have cancelled Christmas, he would have. But on one cold Christmas Eve, he is visited by his late business partner, who warns him to change his ways before he too has the same fate. Scrooge is visited by three Spirits who show him what has been, what is, and what will be.

~ It has been years since I read this short book by Dickens. It is definitely going to have to be a yearly Christmas-time read for me.

 

Currently Reading:

The Strange Case of Dr. Couney by Dawn Raffey

The Sherwood Ring by Elizabeth Marie Pope

The Dragon Reborn -Wheel of Time series book #3 by Robert Jordan

Constantine’s Sword by James Carroll

Dear Theo by Irving Stone

(finishing these last two are high on my priority list!)

Go check out My 2018 Year in Books  on Goodreads and add some great reads to your To-Read list!

To Read: 

Blood Moon Redemption by Judy DuCharme

Amish Peace by Suzanne Woods Fisher

Sons and Soldiers by Bruce Henderson

Secrets by Kristen Heitzmann

Goodbye, Lover by Rachel Britz

 

Books I’ve been thinking about:

Mrs. Mike by Benedict Freedman

Wildwood Dancing by Juliet Marillier

Eve Blackwell series by Dee Henderson

Distress Signals by Catherine Ryan Howard

 

I have a Favorite Reads of 2018 planned for the next few weeks! Really, it was supposed to be up already (as was this one) but life (like nuclear migraines) happens and you’ve got to rearrange things.

~Laura

~What are you reading lately?~

Health Update Nov/Dec 2018

22 Dec

I really had to go back and check when I last shared a health update because it does not feel like it’s been a month already! These weeks have gone by so fast, and because of that, I have not kept very good track of how I’ve been doing. Eesh.

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Overall Health:  Fatigue and Fibro have both eased, even before my nutrient IV last week! In between the awful bouts of pain, I’ve had times of almost excess energy. Strange. And wonderful. I’ve been steadily adding my supplements/vitamins back in. Although I did realize that Resveratrol (2/day) causes upset stomach for me! Less than 24 hrs on it and I was having the same problems that I had a few months ago. I cut back to 1/day and am fine again. So. Shrug.

Nov 28- decent day, took 2 naps, 3hrs total. Fibro still flaring and fatigue pretty strong
Nov 29- started 21day workout challenge. 

Dec 11- IV today
Dec 14- a noticably better day overall. No clonidine till @ 10pm. Only slight fibro until later evening. Very tired all day and a little spacy but best day I’ve had in weeks probably
Dec 16- tired all day, oddly energetic late evening. Two clonidine for migraine. Minimal fibropain until evening, left calf cramped. Mood good.
Dec 17- energetic, a bit tired in am but worked out, cleaned bathrooms and juiced. Left calf still tight. Migraine kicked up in evening, very tired in evening

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Migraine: These are still daily – and pretty intense every day, but I feel like they are responding to treatment better lately.

 

Sleep:  I’m still getting just about 7 hours exactly with 2 or 3 wakings in the night. Most nights I am completely exhausted but have to wait til I can get the pain down to a decent level to go to bed. Sometimes my naps ruin going to bed at a halfway decent hour and other nights I’m still falling asleep on the couch at 9pm.

Memory/Brain Fog: After a full month on Turmeric instead of Neuroflam, I think it’s working – at the very least I haven’t noticed a big decrease in my memory. The only thing is that I have had a shorter attention span lately. I’m not sure if that has to do with this or just fatigue?

Vision: There hasn’t been any vision loss this month – huzzah! But I have had semi-frequent blurring.

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TMJ: This has stayed the same – I’m attributing it to the fact that I haven’t been to my bodywork doctor in about four months. It pops painfully most every day and aches so that my teeth hurt daily.

Fatigue: Thanks to getting regular IV’s again, while this is still strong, it isn’t quite so…overwhelming. Naps are a necessity almost every day, and often they are unexpected (read: I sit down to work on my book/blog/crochet project and suddenly I’m waking up two hours later)

Fibromyalgia: I’m happy to report that this has eased slightly. I think it’s because of the extra thing we added to my nutrient IV last time. (of course, I cannot remember what it was called, but it was specifically to see if it helped with inflammation in the joints/the awful aching) My left calf is still tense/self flexing throughout the day and I’ve been getting cramps in my feet/calves again. I’m glad that they haven’t started again in my hands/elbows though. Ice is still the current magic treatment – be it on my calves or neck. If I’m resting, I’ve got one on me.

Weight Loss: sort of?

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Mood: Even though I’m only taking 2 Xiao Chai Hu Tang a day (instead of my previous 4), this has stayed good.

Digestion: This has also been good (well, for me). BUT. As I said at the beginning of this post – I did realize that Resveratrol (2/day) causes upset stomach for me! Less than 24 hrs on it and I was having the same problems that I had a few months ago. I cut back to 1/day and am fine again. So. I’m glad that I realized it quickly.

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And that’s it for this month! I’m remaining hopeful that this coming year will be full of further improvements. So much so that even I can’t miss them. Heh. Happy Holidays and I’ll see you again next week with this month’s Book Reviews!

~Laura

P.S. Did you see this post – How Much More Will Chronic Illness Steal From Me? that I wrote on the emotional side of living with chronic illness? This one, Chronic Illness Silence, I wrote this time last year about how hard it is to share about what chronic illness sufferers go through. This one , The Dark Before the Dawn, is a late night conversation on pain.

P.P.S. For a more upbeat tone, go check out Hesitant Fate, just a short story I wrote from a writing prompt.

P.P.P.S. Watch next month for my Top Reads and Top Posts of 2018!

 

How much more will Chronic Illness steal from me?

11 Dec

As a girl, I never used to think about growing older. Oh I did in the sense of ‘what do I want to be when I grow up’ and that sort but I never thought past that. Who does when you’re twelve years old and running around barefoot with your pigtails slapping your shoulders?

But with the passage of time, my looking ahead has changed. As it does for everyone. Dreams shift with the wind-blown sand. Hopes are shattered like glass. Sunrises fill your eyes and heart with fire.

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Photo by Luis Galvez on Unsplash

Now, instead of career goals and adventures waiting in the future, I look past the busy years to the slow rocking of a chair on a porch. I picture myself sitting there, a blanket on my lap and a long braid down my shoulder. My eyes are dimmed but I can see well enough to read a favorite novel from time to time.

I think about myself, white-haired and worn out. And wonder. I wonder what will I have done in the intervening years?  Will I have struggled against this disease that whole time, being relegated to wishing and hoping but stuck fighting just to stay alive? Or will the miracle that I’ve been praying for, finally happen, and I am able to move forward. Move toward a dream. Or two. Or even three.

(like children. a small homestead. Living in Israel for a year. Having writing be my career.)

I will have lived a full life, whether I am chronically ill for the whole length of it, or if I am able to beat it to a large enough degree that I can DO. Do the things that I dream of doing. Do things that I haven’t even thought of.

But there’s a fear deep inside of me. A fear that I rarely acknowledge. For what’s the use of pulling something out for the light of day that you can’t do anything about? But here I am, dusting it off and showing it to you.

There’s a fear deep inside that even though I am fighting and will continue to fight, Lyme will have stolen so many years from me that it’ll be too little too late…All we have is this one life, we don’t get a do-over. Already it has taken 13 years – my whole adult life – how much more will it steal?

Will the old woman in the rocking chair have been there since she was in her thirties?

Will life continue to pass by in a sort of haze-  being a part of it but still very much on the outskirts? I am better able to commiserate with people my grandparents age, than with my own.

Deadlines at work and stress over obnoxious coworkers? I have to go back to almost ten years ago to be able to identify with that.

Trying to navigate parenting a young one? Thanks to my health, we haven’t even been able to try for any kids of our own.

Unable to remember that important thing and not sure which doctor to try next? That I understand and have recent experience with.

Are you trying to gauge which medication/supplement/treatment is helping or not? Yep, right there with you.

And while I can laugh about this reality, shoved deep down inside is that fear that it will never change. And if it never changes, how will I react to that fact? I have survived these past few years by simply not thinking about it – by focusing on the fact that I have made progress in healing. Obviously that’s not a bad thing, focusing on the positive. But I know that this fear that is hidden away is going to rear its ugly head eventually and completely. freeze. me. Like it’s done in the past. I know it will again.

Along with that fear is the realization that even while fighting Lyme,  I can still have a full life. I can still chase a few dreams and make wonderful memories. Just like I’ve been doing the past 13 years. I finished Culinary School. Traveled overseas and across country.  Fell in love. Married. Moved a few times. Gained new friends and nieces and nephews. Picked up an old hobby. Started and finished writing a novel. Etc, etc, etc.

So I share this fear of mine with you not as someone without hope. But as someone that is trying to acknowledge, and share, the hidden things, the secret things that go on in someone living with chronic illness. Just because there may be healing going on, it doesn’t mean that there isn’t a basket full of fears and worries still waiting to be dealt with.

~Laura

 

How I did on Nanowrimo 2018

7 Dec

I wanted to share with you all just how I did during last month’s National Novel Writing Month – aka Nanowrimo. This was my fifth…sixth? year doing it and I’m eagerly looking forward to Camp Nano that comes in April and July.

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Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

By the 20th of November, I’d hit a whopping 4k odd words. Not the number I was hoping for but I’m trying to only be proud of it and not be disappointed. It’s a lot more words than I started this month with. I did get distracted and wrote 1k on a completely separate story so it’s been hard to pull myself away from that and back into the world of my novel.

The 25th- I’ve gotten 804 words down! It’s so unexpected because we drove home yesterday and I’m normally just so wiped out that my brain is mush.  Total word count now is 6,792!

The word count total on the 28th is 7845 – another 1,053 words down.

And that’s it folks, Nano ended without me reaching 25k, which was my goal instead of the normal 50k. I am planning on continuing with tracking my word count as it seems to really help me want to sit down and write. My struggle still seems to be balancing getting what needs done around the house and writing – in those times that I have physical energy and mental clarity. But that’s a long rabbit trail of a comment.

I am pleased that in the words I DID get written, I have managed to gain a slightly better understanding of the relationship between my MC and her aunt (it’s changing from how it was in the first draft), my MC’s changed goals/immediate dreams as well as who some of the side characters are at the outset of the story. Quite a lot of info gleamed from just 8k words.

~Laura

Did you do nanowrimo? I’d love to hear about it!

 

 

December 2018 Goals

4 Dec

I am sitting here at such a messy desk, you guys. I’ve been putting off cleaning up my office all week because there were more pressing matters to get to – like decorate for Hanukkah – but this mess has GOT to be dealt with this week. It’s driving me crazy – even when I can’t see the cluttered desk and covered counter behind me (not to mention the disaster that is the drawers), I know it’s here, waiting for me. Accusing me of not getting to it yet. The guilt is real. But for this afternoon, I’m going to sit in the midst of it and ignore it to get this written out and scheduled!

I feel pretty good about what I accomplished in November, although when you look at my list and the amount of things not crossed off, you might be surprised to hear that. I have been struggling with falling asleep for a few hours every afternoon (and before you think ‘that sounds so nice’ – it’s not. I’ll be in the midst of a crochet project or trying to edit my book and next thing I know, I’ve blinked and it’s two hours later. Chronic Fatigue isn’t cool.) Anyhow, what with that and being on vacation for a week (so much fun) around Thanksgiving, I’m  okay with my progress.

With all that in mind, I’m keeping December’s goals to a minimum.

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Photo by Robert Zunikoff on Unsplash

Recap of Monthly Goals:

Watch/Read a documentary/biography

Try a new recipe: I made coconut chicken tenders from  Against All Grain cookbook. We weren’t too crazy about them, sadly. But I think that was partly my fault, not the recipe.

Read theology/marriage/bible study book: I’ve been slowly working my way through Constantine’s Sword

Edit ‘Amelia’ : I haven’t done as much as I wanted to (more on that coming later this week) but there has been progress

Eat healthier/lose weight :  I have lost a smidge of weight and am getting back to eating less starch/corn/processed. The holidays were hard on my eating =(

Post Regularly  – 3 out of 4 posts isn’t bad

November’s Goals:

Best effort on NANOWRIMO – I did as good as I could but not my BEST – again, more on that later this week

Complete Joann’s Crochet Along  – I am thinking I’ll add to it but for now, it’s done

Vacuum Subaru

Clean Floor Vents

A few Secret goals =)

1 thing I did that I didn’t think I could: I went to and made it through a full service at synagogue!

December Goals:

Clean Floor Vents OR Vacuum Subaru

Make: marshmallows, gingerbread cookies/house, etc

Get shelves for classic books

set up 2019 planner?

~Laura

 

 

November 2018 Book Reviews

29 Nov

I don’t know about you but I love seeing what other people are reading, and what they think about what they’ve read. It gives you insight into that person – and also offers different genres/authors up for you to delve into as well! Over the years I’ve really branched out in both the reading of different genres and of course, new authors. I do get a little nervous on some of them but it’s typically worth it – even if I end up not liking the book, I learn a little more about what I like and don’t like. And, as a writer, that is invaluable.

I’m not sure where that stemmed from, but let me know if you agree with me! I’d love to hear what you, my lovely readers, think about that.

As for what I read this month, I didn’t read a whole lot. Due to participating in Nanowrimo, I kept myself from picking up a novel and instead worked on my own! So this month’s book reviews will be rather short.

Here we go!

 

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Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash

The Dressmaker by Kate Alcott – Running to escape a life of being a maid, Tess secures a spot on the Titanic just as it’s about to sail. She’s hired by the formidable fashion designer Lady Duff Gordon. As an aspiring seamstress, she can’t believe her luck. She soon catches the eye of two very different men, one a Chicago millionaire and the other a sailor. But when tragedy strikes, Tess is one of the last passengers to find a spot on a life boat, along with the sailor who sees Lady Duff Gordon’s dubious responses during the tragedy. She will need all her wits about her as the media attacks her new boss, sits through the hearings about the Titanic’s sinking and as she enters the world of fashion.

~This book was lent to me with the words ‘it’s such a good book’. But as it was by an author I’d never read/heard of, I wasn’t sure what to expect from it. But since I’d never read a book focused on the Titanic, I was hopeful about it. And , thankfully, it really was a good book! The glittering world of High Society in 1912, the fear of drowning and then the heartbreak after was described so well. It did take me a bit to really get sucked into the story but when Pinky Wade entered, I was hooked. The twists were unexpected and the ending left me feeling satisfied. A good historical fiction for sure.

The Great Hunt – Wheel of Time Series #2 by Robert Jordan – Time passes as the Wheel turns and the Horn of Valere is found. The Horn that, when blown, will call the dead heroes to fight for them against their enemy. Gleemen have told the story of the Great Hunt for the Horn of Valere for years upon years, but now, it’s been stolen.

~ Book 2 was just as good as the first one I thought, but I might have enjoyed it more because I knew the main characters. I did still get lost a little with all the different story lines going on, though. The twists that this story is taking is crazy- I can’t wait to get the third book from the library! 

 

Currently Reading:

Dear Theo (I’m slowly making my way through this)

Constantine’s Sword by James Carroll (sadly, I haven’t touched this in weeks.)

Daughter of the Forest by Juliet Marillier

Only the River Runs Free by Bodie Thoene

 

~Laura

What have you been reading this month?

 

Health Update Oct/Nov 2018

21 Nov

Hello friends! Thanks for coming by SGL for today’s update on my health. Just a quick intro for anyone new here – I have been diagnosed with Lyme Disease along with some lovely friends – like Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue, TMJ, Chronic Migraines and a handful of other stuff. The co-infections of Lyme are brutal. Brutal, I tell ya. I think I can accurately say that I’m on the road to health – it’s just a switchback, up and down type of road. If you want to read a bit more – go check out my About Me page. But for now, I’ll dive into the update – hoping that this time next year I’ll be able to see even more improvements in my health.

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Overall Health:  Fatigue to the max lately. Fibropain as well. I’m sure that not having an IV for almost two months (!!) has a lot to do with how badly I was flaring in October. Since then, my fatigue and fibro have continued to be intense but it is a bit less – and I’m hoping that getting them regular again will keep chipping away at it.

Oct 15- exhausted, brain fog, nap in afternoon helped but by evening whole body ached and hard to get to sleep. Severe pain. 
Oct 22- awful fibro flare in evening, in all limbs. Took 2 fibronol, 1 St John’s, 2 magnesium, 1 berberine, used tens unit on elbows and rubbed magnesium lotion on elbows and hands. Migraine kicked up but clonidine calmed it. Scale for fibro – 8 
Oct 29 stomach slowly feeling better. Taking minimum vitamins and supplements. Took 2-3 hr nap because fatigue was so intense. Day 17 
Oct 31- seems that when I limit my iberogast as well, that my stomach is some better. Today was the best day in weeks for it, although water still tastes awful and I’ve still got some iron breath. Fatigue has been very present past few days, did get to the grocery store this am before it hit. Fibropain still present in joints but not as severe.
Nov 6- IV finally! Some fatigue in am but feeling decent. Exhausted by mid afternoon/evening. Fibropain present in joints all day
Nov 7- some migraine in am.  Fibropain all day in joints, especially knees. Fatigue hit hard@ 7 pm. Went to bed at 10pm
Nov 8- woke up at 4am till 730, slept again till 93pam. Weary but feel pretty good. minimal attention span.

Migraine:  Some days I’m thinking about how much better this area is and then others I’m struggling to keep the pain down to a survivable level.

Sleep:  This hasn’t changed much at all – still needing an ice pack most every night, and typically change it out at least once. It would be nice if sleep actually helped my fatigue.

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Memory/Brain fog:  I am doing something scary – I’m going to see if taking Turmeric pills has the same result as taking the Neuroflam. I’m hoping it does because as much as I love the Neuroflam, it is at least $60 a bottle. (Turmeric/curcumin is a main ingredient in the Neuroflam) My attention span has been spotty often lately. Augh.

Vision: First – I haven’t had any visual auras! I’m very relieved by this. Thing do get blurrier than they should at times.

TMJ: This has increased in popping and pain. I’m attributing it to the fact that I haven’t been to my bodywork doctor in about three months. It pops painfully most every day and aches so that my teeth hurt daily.

Fatigue:  Such a big struggle still – but since my IV I have been able to struggle through getting things done a little more during the day. Unexpected naps have been happening regularly though. Blink once and it’s an hour later.

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my only pic from my last IV! we did a push on everything which makes it SO much faster!

Fibromyalgia: Such a main point of pain. It’s a constant burning, tingling, throbbing in my limbs, as well as occasional cramping in my feet, calves and hands.  The overall aching has been keeping me up late at night, unable to get to sleep. I’m still on ice at least once each day, but it’s typically a pretty fair bit of swapping out ice packs. I’ve continued using the Tens Unit on my legs as well as using Mg lotion.

Weight Loss: YES! Little by little it’s happening

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Mood: This has stayed pretty good lately – although I do feel like some of that might be that I’m just not thinking about anything serious.

Digestion: I almost forgot to add this and it was SUCH a problem for over a month. My digestion was so bad that even water tasted awful. I finally figured out that my stomach was needing a rest from all of the supplements/vitamins that I’ve been taking for so long. I cut it down to five or six a day – instead of the… forty (probably more) a day I was taking. It took only a few days for it to start helping and now I’m slowly adding things back in. It’s nice to not be taking so many pills but I can tell that I definitely need more than what I’m currently on.

To read where I was at last year in this journey- click here – it’s also when my doctor first uttered the most beautiful three words she’s ever said to me.

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~Laura

November 2018 Goals

5 Nov

Happy second week of November, readers. I’m okay with what I got accomplished last month – even if it wasn’t everything on my list. With prepping for Nanowrimo, fighting stomach issues and strong chronic fatigue, a trip to Bend and trying to get out with Abby every day, I feel just fine about what I accomplished.

It’s so easy to get wrapped up in checking off items on a list, but it’s always important to slow down and take a walk around the neighborhood. (Which is why I like to write ‘walk’ on my list, heh).

 

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Recap of Monthly Goals:

Watch/Read a documentary/biography

Try a new recipe: I am still cooking from  Against All Grain cookbooks. I made Carne Asada burrito Bowls the other night (here’s a recipe inspired by AAG, to give you an idea)

Read theology/marriage/bible study book: I’ve been slowly working my way through Constantine’s Sword

Edit ‘Amelia’ : I have plotted out a bit more and have even started (barely) the new first scene!!

Eat healthier/lose weight : I have now lost 6.4 lbs since I started getting more intentional in August. I have – reluctantly – added starch and corn back into my diet but I’m trying to keep it to a minimum.

Post Regularly -3 out of my 4 posts planned isn’t too bad.

 

October’s Goals:

Sketch out new scenes on ‘Amelia’

Make progress on crocheted doll dress – (buzzer sound) I got so stuck on this project that I put it away until at least January.

Crochet rag rug for laundry room

Complete Joann’s Crochet along – I’m so close to finishing this

Stain clean living room rug – nope nope nope

Clean Subaru –  I cleaned the windows and wiped it all down, now to get to vacuuming it

 

November’s Goals:

Best effort on NANOWRIMO

Complete Joann’s Crochet Along

Vacuum Subaru

Clean Floor Vents

A few Secret goals =)

 

Because of Nanowrimo (find out what it is here) I’m not having too many goals this month. I REALLY want to get a ton of writing done on ‘Amelia’. Also, if you’re doing nano, I’m ‘dreamingagain’ on the website!

~Laura

What are your goals for November?

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