Tag Archives: encouragement

The Tears of My Heart

12 May

This is a post that I wrote in 2016 that I decided needed to be dusted off and shared again.


I found this in my drafts folder earlier this week and decided that it is ready to be shared. While I now have a diagnosis and somewhat-of-a-plan for a cure, these feelings do so frequently overwhelm me and I once again, have to remind myself of the unfailing love of my Saviour.


I feel the tears fill my eyes. One by one they drop to my cheek, and follow the curve down to my chin. Drip. Drip. Drip. I reach up to wipe them away, but what’s this? My cheek is dry, as are my eyes. As I rub my fingers together I realize the tears are not outside, but in. It is inside that is aching. Longing. Crying. But these tears cannot be wiped away so easily with a delicate handkerchief or manicured nails. These require connection, vulnerability and love. Confession of the heart is of the utmost importance if one wants to heal it. But what do I have to confess?

Anger. Frustration. Hurt. All over seemingly-unanswered prayer. Anger that this pain has inhibited 10 years of my life. Frustration that a cure remains beyond my grasp. Hurt that I cannot go on as those around me – event after event.

But this type of contemplation only brings tears that fall onto my cheek. Tears that will need to be wiped away before they fall from my trembling chin. It would be better, rather, to focus on getting through the pain. Accepting my limitations and counting the many blessings I am surrounded with.  So, while the aching inside me continues, I will work to let Him heal it. For I, on my own, cannot heal such a hurt. Even while the tears threaten to overflow my eyes, I will lift my face to the sun and praise Him who has made me and sustained me and blessed me beyond measure.

“Bless the Lord O my soul, and all that is within me. 

Bless His holy name!

Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits,

who forgives your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit,

who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good,

so that your youth is renewed like the eagles wings.”

Psalm 103:1-5

*If you have or are struggling with unanswered prayer I encourage you to keep faith! Continue asking and seeking the Lord. His answer might not be the one you (or I) want but His plan far surpasses any plan we can invent. He is the author of everything, give your pain and struggles to Him daily. He can handle them.




If you’re interested in some more posts on pain, check out How much more will Chronic Illness steal from me? ,  Chronic Illness Silence   and Encouragement for living with Chronic Illness

Encouragement for living with Chronic Pain Part 4

10 Aug

Hello friends! I hope you’re having a wonderful day. I’ve been sharing a series of posts filled with articles on living with – and being a supporter and encourager  of someone with – chronic pain.




Facebook posts we all want to share but don’t  by themighty.com


Why is Pacing Important? by My Eds Journey


How Chronic Illness makes you awesome by Chronic Mom

Coping Skills to Manage the Emotional Stress by Life in Slow Motion


Facing Suffering that lasts longer than a Season by Life in Slow Motion

Symptoms of my Lyme Disease by SGL



Do you have any encouraging posts to share? 

A Letter to the Weary

17 May

Welcome back to TSGL! It has been far too long since I’ve ‘seen’ you all! There are a few posts that are working their way to being posted for your enjoyment. letter to the weary

For today, I’m going to be talking to those that have chronic pain. My fellow sufferers – this letter is for you.

My vibrant friends, 

The pain is not you. You are still you – deep down inside perhaps, but you are still there. When you look back at who you used to be, it is so easy to bemoan how you have changed. Mourn it and then grow from it. You are most likely stronger than you were before -that is a blessing. Perhaps, like me, your faith has gotten stronger and deeper than it used to be. Be willing to grow and learn while you are in this trial – whether it lasts for a few more months, years or the rest of your life. Don’t let bitterness settle in your heart, for then, the pain will really have taken over who you are. But this, this you can fight. Find new ways to stay exactly the wonderful you that you are.

You still have a blessed, wonderful life – it might not/probably doesn’t look like the one you had dreamed of for yourself. But look around you for a second. You have a bed? A couch? Someone to help you out? Food? You are blessed. It’s like counting your blessings when you can’t fall asleep. I know so often the first things that run through my mind when I’ve stopped distracting myself, are all the things that I wish I could have done, or how I miss being able to work or how overly over it I am. Shockingly, those types of thoughts don’t exactly bring the positive attitude that we need to have! Count your blessings whenever you feel your optimism slipping.

Things really could be much worse. I try to remember that no matter how bad my pain gets, it could be much, much worse. While this one is a bit tricky for some of you, and it can be a bit…..what’s the word??? Anyway, I don’t mean that you look at someone around you and say ‘i could be them’ or such and such sort of a thing. I mean more in the sense of realizing that, for my example, while some days I have a really hard time walking just to get to the bathroom or kitchen, there are so many people that can’t even do that. It’s realizing that you are blessed even with the trial you are in.

Don’t stop living – learn that new hobby, read that book, test that recipe. Text or call that person that you’re missing. Binge watch that tv show. Yes, that last suggestion is easier now than it probably ever has been for you (well, at least for me it is!) but holding off on trying new things or doing something you love (and can still sort of do) isn’t good. It makes it all harder, honestly. No, don’t over-extend yourself, but don’t shut yourself up in a dark room constantly. It is the good days, the good moments, that make the pain a little more bearable.

Tell people when you’re in pain. Seriously. Don’t try and be ‘brave’ or ‘strong’ when you feel like the pain is completely consuming you. I’ve been there, done that and it is not worth it. Apparently I need random reminders of just how horrible it is to let each wave of pain crash over you while you suffer in silence. Just say it. “I hurt’ or my seemingly-common phrase these days ‘I think I’m dying’. For honestly, in those moments, I feel like I am. The pain is a swirling, crashing, dizzying thing that blocks anything else from view. By simply stating to someone who cares what’s going on, it can do at least 2 things for you – 1) help you focus on something else, like getting words past your clenched teeth.  And 2) they now have the opportunity to help you.

As a follow-up, thank your caregivers as often as possible. It can’t be easy to do everything that needs done, plus help take care of you – even if it’s once a week, or every day. I find that by thanking them, it helps me remember that they truly are blessing me. I also dream and plan of the day when I am healthy again and able to take care of my OH in the way he takes care of me. I cannot wait to be able to keep the house clean and meals ready for us. I can’t wait to be able to mow our lawns (is it weird that i love to do that?) and keep the cars sparkling clean. There are days of course, that dreaming of this isn’t a good idea, but sometimes, it helps thinking that maybe one day I’ll be able to bless him/them right back.

Don’t beat yourself up about having to take prescription pain pills. If you need them, you need them. Take them, but also tell your doctor that you’d love to get back off of them -do your research! Try natural options. I got on prescription pain pills about seven months ago and realized that feeling guilty about taking them was only making the days that much harder. Instead, I decided to be grateful that they helped me get through the day, but also to search for a new doctor that might be able to help me. As a result, I have done a bunch of tests this past month but I am happy to report that we have a better idea of what might be causing these migraines and the other issues I have going on. Inner ear fissure and too high of red blood cells. I’m on the low end of a lot of my blood work. My thyroid is fine, thank goodness, but it doesn’t help figure out the reason for the significant weight gain. Salt has been taken away from me – dont’ laugh but i almost cried when she told me that. Apparently salt can disrupt the balance of fluid in your inner ear – causing vertigo and other problems. Here’s a link I found that explains it well, along with other foods that can be a problem . So, I am cutting out as much processed foods as I can – I am doing this for a month – to see if it helps my digestion problems and even my dizziness.


the journey is easier with a friend

Chronic pain is certainly not something that can be easily described, understood or lived through. But by sharing with those around us what is going on emotionally and physically, the load can be a little lighter. Be thankful for your life and still live it as well as you can.Be thankful for those that care for you and show that in little ways – texts or phone calls asking how you are, cleaning, cooking, walking your dog, shopping for you, driving you to doctor’s appointments – don’t let any act of kindness go without at least a hug. Find someone who you can gripe to on your bad days and rejoice with on your good ones. Be emotionally present for people, even if you can’t physically be with them. We can still thrive in this life, this one filled with chronic pain – we just have to work harder at it.

I am contemplating starting a group for chronic pain sufferers – ideally migraine and related but I’m not sure if I want to limit it to that only. It is the bud of an idea right now, but it’s one that isn’t going away. It would be a faith-based group where I’d love all kinds of sharing to go on – prayer requests and praises, any helpful tips on easing pain, etc. Basically a place to vent when the pain is consuming and find encouragement and understanding. If you would be interested in such a group, let me know! Knowing that some ladies would want to join might help spur the idea into reality.

While at my doctor’s, I took a picture of the pain scale and thought that I would share it with you. Having a scale to go off of has helped me describe my pain level to my OH and the doctor.

letter to the weary

But for now, I want to say thank you. Thank you for taking the time to read this and I hope that it has encouraged you ,dear heart.

Striving For a Virtuous Life – Hope

9 Feb


Welcome again to this monthly series that is all about focusing on growing virtues of a godly woman. Last month’s was on virtue and you can read it here. A few ‘boring’ things before we get started – I will get all my meanings from dictionary.reference.com unless otherwise stated. For my verses, I will be using my Complete Jewish Bible, unless otherwise stated.  There, I think that covers it. So let’s dive right in!


  • the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best
  • to look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence
  • to believe, desire or trust
  • to place trust

Here are a few synonyms – expectancy, longing

1 Peter 1:3-6 “Praised be God, Father of our Lord Yeshua the Messiah, who, in keeping with his great mercy, has caused us, through the resurrection of Yeshua the Messiah from the dead, to be born again to a living hope, to an inheritance that cannot decay, spoil or fade, kept safe for you in heaven. Meanwhile, through trusting, you are being protected by God’s power for a deliverance ready to be revealed at the Last Time. Rejoice in this, even though for a little while you may have to experience grief in various trials.”

My commentary (Jewish New Testament Commentary) shares the Greek word for ‘born again’ , that can also be rendered ‘born from above’. I really like this different wording of it, ‘born from above’. We all know we were born once from our mothers, but to be born from above gives me a mental image of that moment when my sins were forgiven. And then he reminds us that as we trust, we are protected forever. That protection does not mean that life will be easy-peasy, a ‘bowl full of cherries’  or whatever idiom you want to use. Our salvation does not come with a guarantee of everything going our way, in fact we are promised quite the opposite. But I do love the last sentence. “Rejoice in this….” We are to go through our sufferings rejoicing. Now, I can tell you that I have not been rejoicing lately. More like whimpering, honestly. But if I have this hope in His great mercy, in the inheritance – should I not be focusing instead on that?

Romans 5:2-5 “Also through him and on the ground of our trust, we have gained access to this grace in which we stand;  so let us boast about the hope of experiencing God’s glory. But not only that, let us also boast in our troubles; because we know that trouble produces endurance, endurance produces character, and character produces hope; and this hope does not let us down, because God’s love for us has already been poured out in our hearts through the Ruach HaKodesh (Holy Spirit) who has been given to us.”

‘let us boast in our troubles’ – now, how many of us really think ‘yay!!! troubles! trials!’ ha, now that’s not really what he’s calling us to do, now is it? it’s changing our regular attitude of focusing on the difficulties, and instead on our Savior. For look at what we get as a result of relying on God  – endurance, character and hope!

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 “This is why we do not lose courage. Though our outer self is heading for decay, our inner self is being renewed daily. For our light and transient troubles are achieving for us an everlasting glory whose weight is beyond description. We concentrate not on what is seen but on what is not seen, since things seen are temporary, but things not seen are eternal.” 

I really love this verse. Go ahead and read the first two sentences again. Courage. Renewed daily.  Yes! Yes! I had to look up transient and here’s the meaning – lasting for a short time, impermanent. Keep your focus on what is eternal, on what truly matters, for on that there is an ‘everlasting glory’.

Psalms 3:2 – 6 “Adonai, how many enemies I have! How countless are those attacking me; how countless are those who say of me, ‘There is no salvation for him in God’. But you, Adonai, are a shield for me; you are my glory, you lift my head high. With my voice I call out to Adonai, and he answers me from his holy hill. I lie down and sleep, then wake up again, because Adonai sustains me.” 

He is our shield. Our glory. He lifts up our head and he answers us. He sustains us. He is the reason to have hope.

Here are 2 printables for you – let me know if they don’t work!

God bless,




Little Blossoms for Jesus

• Enjoying the old-fashioned & beautiful • • Thankful for grace • Growing in faith • • Learning life • Loving people •

A Musing Maverick

Ilse Davison

Elaine Howlin

lost in the pages of books

See Jayne Run

Navigating with Chronic Illness in a Self Absorbed World