Dealing with the Pain of a Disappointing Doctor

21 Aug

I am sure that we have all had one – the doctor that doesn’t listen to what we say but focuses on what they want and hands you another prescription and says ‘good day’ as they pry the ridiculous price for their time out of your stunned fingers.

Okay, maybe not the money part although sometimes it feels that way.


Today was the final appointment with my doctor. I was disappointed last time I went to her (my second visit) but after a few phone calls back and forth with her office, I decided to give her one more try.

My expectations for this visit:

1)she would apologize for making me feel attacked because I don’t have health insurance.

2) she would apologize for making me feel as if she didn’t really want to care for me because I don’t have insurance.

3) she would offer at least one option that wasn’t a prescription, but rather natural, for my migraines.

4) she would listen.

What actually happened on this visit:

1 )She didn’t apologize – at all

2) she didn’t have any clue (or notes apparently) to remind her of what we had talked about the last 2 visits

3) she didn’t remember what tests i had/hadn’t done – neither did she have the necessary ‘reports’ back from them

4) she didn’t listen. At all.

5) Offended me by asking me a question she had no right to ask

6) Only backed off – sort of- on a topic once i told her i was getting stressed just thinking/talking about it.

Disappointment and frustration? Big time. Going back to her? No way.

I might be old-fashioned, or small-town, but I believe that a doctor, especially one who is getting paid over $150 a visit, should be prepared for each patient. And, i don’t know, actually care what they want. Sigh. So, I am currently doctor and plan-less. The search for a new doctor begins again.

Part of the problem of having a doctor like this is what happens behind the scenes – in the mind and emotions of the patient, the one who is living with chronic pain. Questions arise, those questions that we would rarely put to voice – for then we would be revealing just how vulnerable we are.  I have talked before about how the pain  doesn’t just mess with your body but with your mind as well and having to deal with a doctor like this only increases this dilemna. Already we can feel a burden to those around us, but when someone we are paying through the teeth for, doesn’t seem to find our pain sufficient cause to legitimately TRY? Our confidence in ourselves, and our ability to ever get better, gets smacked in the face.

I don’t want to sound like I am lumping all doctors together in one -not-caring-lump because I have had some wonderful doctors. And, perhaps, those that seem to be uncaring, really aren’t but have gotten caught up in the day to day paperwork and little things and don’t realize that they’ve lost their focus. We really can’t know what’s going on behind the scenes – no one can in anybody else’s situation really.

So, for now, I am going to start taking Evening Primrose Oil and see if that helps ease anything during that fabulous hormonal freak-out time. The positive things that have happened in the last three months are that I now get five straight hours of sleep a night instead of waking up every hour; and if i’m lucky, i can fall back asleep within one to two hours. Backing significantly off of salt has helped eliminate my dizziness/vertigo which is a wonderful blessing! Getting off the BAD prescription pain pills has decreased the severity of my migraines – they still are very bad and almost every day of the week but nowhere near what they were five weeks ago. I am now on clonidine, and have hopes that with a new doctor with a natural approach, I will be able to get off that prescription as well.

Have you had a doctor that ignored your wishes? What’s the most important quality in a doctor for you?


7 Responses to “Dealing with the Pain of a Disappointing Doctor”

  1. Rose L. August 21, 2015 at 9:59 am #

    Be very worried about the migraines. Have they done any MRI or anything to look at your brain? I just lost a friend at age 39 who was having severe migraines and had gone to the ER one Friday as she said it was so intense she could not stand it. They gave her a shot and pain meds. Sunday night she died from a brain aneurysm. That was the second person I have known it to happen to. I had a cousin who died of it at age 24.
    I know it could be something else. I had suffered from severe migraines and thought I would die but luckily it was not aneurysm. Mine were hormonal and Imitrex was amazing for them. The shots would stop them within seconds the pills took about 45 minutes. I would have migraines for a few days each month most of my life until my female parts were removed. I do hope you find the cause and cure for yours.


    • booksnbakery August 21, 2015 at 10:38 am #

      I am so sorry to hear of your losses, Rose! very heartbreaking. i have had an MRI done but mine are more related to hormonal imbalance than anything. I also tried imitrex but the side effects were severe and they barely touched the pain. i’m glad you found a way to get rid of the pain. thanks for stopping by


  2. Ariel @ Keys to My Life August 21, 2015 at 8:21 pm #

    I get occasional migraines, and my mom gets them a lot. They’re terrible! Some people don’t even begin to understand how they feel. I hope you find a doctor who can help you the way you want to be helped!


    • booksnbakery August 23, 2015 at 7:47 am #

      I’m sorry you get them too! Oy. I have people tell me that they’ve had bad headaches and can’t imagine a migraine and I always tell them I’m glad they can’t! It’s a horrible thing to live with. But, in this moment, as long as there is chocolate cookie dough in my fridge, I can survive =)


  3. Emily @ Chirpings from a Little Sparrow August 21, 2015 at 8:27 pm #

    Oh gosh! Good doctors are soooo few and far between! I definitely know the feeling! They can be so arrogant with no “bedside manner”…which I think is so important. You need a doctor with a level of compassion and understanding for what you are dealing with. The first rule in medicine is “Do no harm!” And it sounds like this doctor is doing quite a bit of harm. True, doctors are supposed to be the experts, but only you know yourself best. If you try to explain something to a doctor, or tell them what it is you need FROM THEM, they should be willing and open to giving you what YOU need. I hope you find a good one. I was very, very fortunate to find a new, wonderful doctor after my former one let me down time and time again. Blessings!!


    • booksnbakery August 23, 2015 at 7:45 am #

      Thanks for coming by Emily! I am glad you were able to find a great doctor! I am missing mine in my hometown for sure right now! I think I’m burnt out on ‘neurologists’ and am going to go back to ‘naturopaths’, they seem to have a better understanding of..well, listening!



  1. the year was 2015 and SGL’s most popular posts | the start of a good life - December 31, 2015

    […] Dealing with the Pain of a Disappointing Doctor  – Doctors, doctors, doctors… when they cause you more pain instead of easing it […]


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Ilse Davison

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