Short Story Sharing – The Door

29 Jun


Once again I’m awake in the wee hours of the morning (if you thought of this song, kudos to you ) so here’s a snippet of a story I’m working on. I really might pare it down and try turning it into a picture book but I’m enjoying it so I hope you do!

“The door that, when opened, would show her anything she wanted to see, was finally before her. Eagerly she grasped the handle and turned but nothing happened. No matter how hard she tried, it stayed solidly shut. Her cheeks puffed and her face turned red with her efforts but the lock that held it in place was not moved.  In frustration she stepped back and stared at the frustrating door knob, when finally she realized, if it was locked – there must be a key! Spinning away from the door, she searched everywhere for the key – in boxes and bags, baskets and drawers, dark shelves and hidden corners were gone through. A room that was overflowing with every book, toy and child’s game imaginable was there. But no key. By the time she plopped herself down on the floor in frustration, her ringlets were in disarray, her dress was wrinkled and the buckle of one shoe had broken. Tears welled up in her eyes as she stared at the large round door in front of her. Her chin quivered and breath got short, but just before an ear-splitting scream was released, a small voice stopped her. “That won’t help, you know. It rarely ever does.” Drawing a startled breath and looking around her, the little girl spied a small mouse sitting atop an upside down china cup. In his hands was what looked to be a cake, only a miniature one so small that only in hands so tiny as a mouse’s did it look like a grand cake. In her distress she didn’t think of the oddity of having a mouse talk, she only replied indignantly, “Yes it does. I get whatever I want that way.” The mouse took a nibble of the grand cake and shook his head as he chewed. “Wherever you’re from, it’s clear it’s not here. For here, behaving that way only brings you one thing.” Tears gone and hysterics forgotten, the girl crossed her legs and straightened her dress. “What’s that?” “Death.” “Death?! You’re lying.” Her messy ringlets were tossed over her shoulder and she crossed her arms in front of her. “No, no. It’s true. If one does not behave themselves here, one does not behave anywhere.” At his little rhyme, the mouse chuckled to himself. “Well said, well said.” His whiskers quivered when he talked, but even more so when he chuckled. They almost danced when he finally laughed out loud. “I gather you have not been here long, or you would know this rule already.” “That is a stupid rule.” She felt proud of herself when using that word, her parents didn’t like it, and so she tried to use it as often as possible.  Gathering her dress in one hand, she started to get up until she heard the small voice again. “And where do you think you are going? I have not said you could leave.” “What? I don’t have to listen to you.” “If you want to know how to open that door, you do. Sit down.” As anyone knows when achieving something that is forbidden, it only increases your longing for it. But to all of a sudden be told how to get it, and that it is alright, decreases the attraction it once held for you.  While this held true for the little girl, she found she did still want to open the door. She refused to acknowledge this to the mouse that offered to help though, “Why do you think I care about that old door?” A little, teeny-tiny huff escaped his lips, “I dare say you do care. That was the reason you were about to set up a squall, isn’t it?” “A squall?” “A ruckus. A noise. Crying, child, screaming. That horrible noise you were about to burden my ears with.” Throughout this conversation the mouse continued eating his grand cake, one nibble at a time. Between every few bites he would clean his whiskers and take a drink of tea out of a dainty doll’s cup. Not liking that he wasn’t telling her anything about the door, and seemed to be partially ignoring her, she brushed her ringlets behind her shoulders, and said nastily, “It would serve you right, you little…” But that’s all she got out for he lifted a finger and shook it at her, “ah-ah-ah. None of that now. Remember the rule. Sit down. Tell me your name.” His voice, while being smooth also demanded that she obey at once. There were only a few people that can do this with their voice, and our friend the mouse, is one of them. To her dismay, the little girl found that she had sat prettily down on a cushion beside the table the mouse was on. “Melinda. My name is Melinda Cryalot.” “Hmm, it suits you I dare say. My name is Mr. Keeper.” “Keeper? What kind of a name is that?” She said with a sneer, for you see, she didn’t realize that her own name told others what type of a girl she was. “A fitting name. For, you see, I am the keeper of the key.” He said it all so calmly, as if it didn’t really mean anything. But really, he was watching her from the corner of his eye as he finished his cake and cleaned his whiskers for the last time.  It was very important how she responded to what he said, it would mean he could go on sitting comfortable in his chair, or he’d have to get up and do something about this newest child. He knew the King of The Land of Rules had a reason for sending Melinda Cryalot here, he just hadn’t figured out how to properly help her. So he was hoping inspiration would strike in the next few minutes.”

Yes, that’s probably more than a ‘snippet’ but I just couldn’t shorten it any…. Like I said, I’m loving the story already and have so many plans for this little girl! If you’ve posted a story you’re working on, share your link below – I’d enjoy reading it!  ~Laura

8 Responses to “Short Story Sharing – The Door”

  1. Maryann Hore June 29, 2015 at 9:19 am #

    I love it!!!!!!! I didn’t know you could write like that! You MUST continue!!!!!


    • booksnbakery June 29, 2015 at 11:02 pm #

      Thank you! I’m writing in a new style with this story and I’m really liking it


  2. m June 29, 2015 at 7:16 pm #

    Absolutely delightful! Thanks for sharing! You are so talented!


    • booksnbakery June 29, 2015 at 11:02 pm #

      I’m glad you enjoyed it! Thanks so much! I’ve been excited about this one since I started it


  3. Rose L. June 29, 2015 at 7:41 pm #

    WOW! What a great start to a story!


    • booksnbakery June 29, 2015 at 11:03 pm #

      Thanks Rose! Its been fun gathering the story line together and seeing it come out onto the ‘paper’


  4. darlene mom July 2, 2015 at 9:14 am #

    I love!!!! This story. Can’t wait for more. Your writing gets better with each story and i especially like your childrens stories. Keep at it and you’re sure to be published some day. Look out dr Seuss 😉


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A Musing Maverick

Ilse Davison

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