Marriage Advice Collaboration – part 5 (aka final)

22 Apr

Well, I sat down half an hour ago to write this and got distracted trying to add a new ‘plugin’ onto wordpress, but i can’t even find the place on here to do it. oy vay. So, to avoid further frustration, I thought I’d focus on this – that which I DO know how to do!

I have been thinking more on how to grow this little blog of mine, and possibly make a little bit of $$ on it too, so bear with me if there are some strange things happening or long pauses between posts. I mean, I even recently set up my gravatar profile – ha! Who knows, at least now I have a picture next to my comments on blogs. =) It’s a funny thing, this blogging. I have no wish to spend my day away on this laptop but yet I love doing this. I love being able to write – whether it’s on chronic pain, cooking, baking, cleaning or whatever else! – I love having a ‘reason’ to write. I always thought I would be a writer when I grew up. . . which reminds me my niece asked me a while ago what I wanted to be when I grew up and I said ‘I don’t know. I should figure that out soon though, I’m running out of time”. She nodded her head sagely as if she completely understood.  So who knows, maybe writing will turn out to be my ‘thing’ – at least it’s something you can take with you wherever you move. As opposed to a brick-and-mortar business.

Now, to the matter at hand – our next piece for marriage advice!

This one comes from another one of my aunts – Aunt Maryann! She’s a dear heart and is a wonderful homemaker for my Uncle Don. She is very creative and is always on the look out for ways to save money!

“When those times of, well, to put it politely, those times of misunderstanding come, when you wonder if it can ever be overcome, and you’re not a bit happy being married, at least at the moment, and certainly not to HIM!!! I’m talking about when the ‘misunderstanding’ goes on for days or ??? My advice is to remember the Scripture that says ‘in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.'(1 Th 5:18) Put this Scripture to use! Begin to verbally thank God for your husband. You may not feel like it, but just keep thanking Him. You will be amazed at the change that will transpire. 

Praise your husband any chance you get in front of others. Be very careful NOT to say anything negative about him in front of others. Wait until you are alone to correct him when you know he is in error! 

As the book ” Love and Respect points out. it is very important to show respect to him. Us ladies want love, but he wants respect.”

marriage advice collab 5

And for the last words , from my friend Jenn. Her and Kyle have been married for….ummm, about 10 years? They have two cute little ones and I absolutely love getting to talk with her. She is very encouraging, upbeat and a wonderful woman of God.

“1) When you’re wrong, admit it the second you know it to be true. Being able to admit you’re wrong shows a good vulnerability. It is helpful as well as endearing. 

2) Play. Finding moments to walk to the park with a bat and baseball is so simple and can bring a lot of joy. Remaining playful in your marriage allows you to laugh together and laughter is good medicine. 

3) Remember what is important to each other. If one likes watching movies and the other likes to go for Sunday drives, do both. One sided marriages grow stagnant quickly.

4) Notice the little things. Dishes done, a sweet mid day text, one rose just because, etc. Joy is found in the simple moments. Paying attention to the little things and acknowledging them to each other shows appreciation. We are more likely to do something if we feel it is appreciated. =)

5) The truth hurts. Always be truthful, but find a kind and loving way to communicate the truth.

6)Never  hide anything, ever. This is a small world and a short life. If it is all out on the table, no wedge can be driven between you.

7)Always remind each other why you chose each other. Never lose the spark. Chose to be romantic.

8) Plan life together.  Setting small, big and outrageous goals together makes a world of difference in a marriage. 

9) Go on a date night at least once a month but try for once a week. There is something about getting out of the house together that is refreshing. This does not need to cost a dime. If you do make a budget for it, you can keep it under $10. This is Bend, after all, art walks, coffee shops, parks, etc. We love going to a fancy restaurant after dinner and just ordering dessert. For $10 we get to sit in a really nice place, all dressed up and it just feels good to be in pretty places.

10) The grass is not greener, stop looking, stop comparing. In the day of Social Media, most people only post about the good times. We may start to think that everyone else has it all figured out. Truth is, we all have issues. We just don’t want to post the negative. SO, be happy with your home, your job, your marriage, your family portrait, your adventures and your life. It is God given and it is great to be you! =)

11) Ask questions and HEAR the response. Spend the first few years really exploring each other’s interests and really dig deep. When life gets more busy later, you will be glad to have such a deep understanding and knowledge of one another.

12) Patience. It really is a virtue. We all grow and learn at different paces. That goes for marriage as well. Some of us are just ‘better’ at this marriage gig. Allow your spouse to grow with you at their pace. Hold them accountable but be kind and patient. =)

13) Last for a reason and certainly not least. Pray. Pray together and for each other. When you feel the need to have a fight… pray. When you’re irritated…pray. When you’re thankful…pray. When you’re ANYTHING AT ALL…pray. heehee =) 

Blessings to your and yours – may you have a richly blessed life together!”

How wonderful all these pieces of advice have been. I love noticing those that are repeated – you know those are the ones that are for any personality or any length of marriage! Listen. Pray. Spend time together.  Thank you to all the dear ladies that shared their thoughts for this series. I have been deeply blessed through these weeks, and I hope that you, the reader, have also been blessed.

Go love on your spouse, even if that means taking them their coffee while they do homework – wait, that’s what I’m about to do. ha. God bless you dear ones, and thank you for joining me in this series.  I know that working toward a great marriage is just that – work. But one that I fully believe to be completely worth it. Take it a step at a time, don’t get overwhelmed, and don’t overwhelm your partner. A day at a time,  working through the difficulties and rejoicing in the good times.

And now, it’s time I took my OH his coffee. Until next time, Laura

2 Responses to “Marriage Advice Collaboration – part 5 (aka final)”

  1. Darlene April 22, 2014 at 8:31 pm #

    Laura, thank you for taking the time to post these bits of advice from friends and family. It has been fun “getting to know” these women better through their words of advice. Now for the hard part —– using all of the advice — even the ones that seem difficult to do. No matter how long a marriage, there will always be difficulties, but we need to remember that there are way more good times than bad.
    Lastly, congratulations on 1 year of marriage to you and your oh!!! May the Lord bless you as you begin year number 2!

    Like

    • booksnbakery April 22, 2014 at 9:46 pm #

      thanks so much – I always knew marriage would involve a lot of work, but I never accounted for the emotional vulnerability that that required! whew! =)
      Thanks for the congrats, I cannot believe how fast those months flew. =)

      Like

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